"Not under my roof!"

tofu67

Not sure about the 'much' in 'much older man' but thanks anyway! Yes it is true that her parents would throw a fit if they knew and the landlord probably knows this which is why he can use the threat of police action to get his way.

Perhaps doing the marriage bit is an extreme solution to enabling her to stay round when it suits us. Besides, given the unlikely chance that her parents wouldn't have a seizure, they would not approve of a marriage. Even if at three weeks (which is how long we have known each other), we have probably become more acquainted with one another than most Indian newly weds would have been at the time of their marriage.

Unfortunately there is no reasoning now as they are not prepared to discuss anything with me at all..

kristinm

Serve them tea and lots of sweets, invite older Indian people too to show that they approve of your 'friendship', and lie lie lie!!!! They can't refuse your hospitality if you go about it in a formal Indian way. Just be horrified at their assumptions, but still blame yourself for the cultural confusion... make them look bad and allow them to save face at the same time.

brishti

you have the landlord AND her parents to conted with???
goolymissmolly you sure are tofu'd!



:brishti

[ Xposted with kristin ]
hmm - playin games eh kristin! i like i like i like - keep 'em thoughts comin girl
you're invited for beer as well!!!

capt_mahajan

Next we will be hiring people off the street and turning them into the girls parents

Kiss: Keep it simple, etc.

Besides, I think it is a little late to play house-house after the gf has been called names and her car has been vandalised.

kristinm

Now there's a plan!!!

I'm so pathetic I'd probably just move out in the dead of night .. if it's got to the point where you can't rescue anything with your landlord - I'd get out, life's too short to live with that type of hostility.

Hey, this must be some girl! Maybe you will end up having to deal with her parents after all?

As an Indian girl - what is her perspective on the whole thing? Just out of interest.

Not to get into swapping horror landlord stories.. but I will anyway - I shared with a girl - friend once here in Bondi, private rental, the landlord used to arrive at 9am on a Saturday morning and let himself in (after a brief knock on the door) no doubt hoping to find us in the shower or something. We changed the locks and threatened to tell the tax office about his little arrangement.... well, my friend did.. I encouraged her though!

tofu67

That is a very nice idea Kristin and I wish I had neighbours with whom I could have such interactions . All communications I am afraid to say though have over the past 2 years been conducted with me standing on their doorstep or in the hallway. They would never consider inviting me into their hallowed living space, they in turn would be quite fearful of the prospect of any kind of social gathering hosted by myself, worse still, in my heathen den of debauchedness

Why did they get a foreigner in in the first place? They knew they could charge a premium rent of course.

brishti

aah kristin - whatdiditellyounow!!!
but hey - dooo invite me to one of your chai an chats i promise i'll behave!



:brishti

tofu67

Now that is a great idea for a back up if police get involvced, I know a couple of women who may just go along with this plan, it would have to be telephone communication only since the parents do not live in Delhi (conveniently)

kristinm

Well there's a lesson in Indian-ness I guess, next time, begin the relationship with a social cup of tea and make sure to stroke the landlord and lady's ego from the get-go, introduce them to your guests...

I guess its not that different to the old fashioned 'lodger' situation in England - we all (Aussies) lived in those situations at one point or another in London years ago, and had to contend with locked kitchen cupboards, electricity meters, nosy chain smoking landladies reading your mail or snooping through your room, or standing around while you used the phone and listening in, endless rules and regulations and complaints about noise etc... It was either that or some grim bedsit a real slit your wrists environment, or share 2 rooms with 20 Aussies and Kiwis in Earls Court (yuk!).

They were raking it in those 'landladies'... 5 or so travellers in 3 spare bedrooms paying well over the odds and banned from most areas of the house - my friend was only allowed to use the bath twice a week! Wednesdays and Sundays.. and there was a line drawn around it where the water was supposed to come to.

Heaven forbid one of us would get lucky and then have to smuggle some poor bloke down the stairs in the wee hours of the morning!

Munivar

Different things in different places.

I get notice from my community office that I have not mowed my lawn.

Why is that of any concern to them?

It is because of the appearance which contrasts to the neighborhood. It's their rules and I play by it although most Indians would scoff at a letter telling them to mow their lawn.

Similarly, a westerner may think "I an bring GFs, why is this of any concern to them"...but it is an appearance issue and it is indeed a genuine concern for people brought up in that way.

__________________
Yaadhum Oore Yaavarum Kaelir !!!

tofu67

Luckily she is quite a brazen young woman and was not intimidated by the landlady's inquisition (she would not tell her anything). Naturally she takes exception to being labelled a prostitute and is understandably concerned that the police may get her parent's details and cause all sorts of trouble for her. So we need a plant (parent plant that is).

Your landlord anecdote was interesting, so you got him grassed up to the tax authorities?

My own landlord runs a building contractor business in his basement in what is an unlicensed premises. (Thousands of premises have been sealed in Delhi for carrying out commercial activity without a license, including my office quite recently, which is a global market research agency), also they have a domestic servant child who appears to me to be younger than the legal minimum age. Actually he too is a problem and most recently woke me and gf up pounding on my window one night, when I immediately went to see what the problem was he jumped into his bed and pretended to be asleep. The thing is I am more than able to grab my landlord by the proverbial testicles but it is not in my nature to stoop to that kind of level (his level?).

kristinm

Landlords! Can't live with em - can't afford a mortgage.. what are you gonna do? I write this as our house gently crumbles around us, minimum maintenance being our landlord's preferred way of doing business.

If I were you I'd just move out and give him a right bollocking on the way out - let him know that if he wants foreign money, he needs to get with the program. What will you lose? A month's rent? Sounds like its not worth the hassle... find somewhere nice!

puchoo

This is Mrs P...

Found the thread rather interesting - so decided to add my own bit...

Not all landlords are like this - the house my parents have, also in South Delhi, is a place where we have always had tenants and we've had girlfriends sleeping over - and there has never been a problem - on the other hand, we once had a woman staying who would bring in hoards of very loud people very late in the night (parents go to sleep at about 2 a.m. and are rather sound sleepers - so you can imagine how late and noisy this bunch was) and she got a tongue lashing from my parents...the logic being that the tenants can do what they want, as long as they don't bother us.

One of the places we had checked out for Puchoo to live in (long before we had got married, never took the place coz the rent was too high) the landlady said, in so many words, that I could keep a key and could come over any time of day or night, as long as I was the only one - not a different woman every night..

The place where he actually stayed - the landlord and his maids were so used to seeing me - that even if they saw me at a time I was not technically supposed to be there - they turned a blind eye to it..

And no, we did not drink cups of tea with anyone!!!

So, I guess it depends from person to person - and in all the above cases, since all the places were within the same colony - maybe it has to do with the kind of people who live here...

And no, don't think it makes any sense to call the cops on his illegal office or under age house help - whether he gets away with or not - you would HAVE TO move out post that - coz he'll make life even more difficult for you..

__________________
Cheers!
Sidharth

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kristinm

Well there you are ... do they have a room free? Problem solved!

That's true about reporting him, it would get really nasty I imagine.. we only actually went through with it once we moved out, we threatened it before that to keep him away... but we hated him so much we just had to do it afterwards. Vengeance can be sweet ...

brishti

mrs puchoos!!!
welcome to IM - you really should get your own ID an all - wimmenslib an all that!!!

i've had amazing landlord/s as well.
same dictum was/is meeted out to me - do what you will - as long as we're not disturbed.

there was this very special landlord and his wife - who knew i was going thru really tough times - and they didnt bother me about rent monies for [ drum roll here ] one whole year

honestly - there are more good folks than them other ones


:brishti