Married to Indian Nationals.

lez

I have noticed quite a few people in this forum and in Goa that are married to Indian Nationals.

I was wondering what problems you have encountered such as racism, religion, diet and adjusting your life style as well as housing.

Just wondering.

Lez

dan37_123

why??

Is this a survey u want to do ??.

dan

In the parlour

I live in the US with my Indian wife. Neither we nor our children have faced major problems. Ironically, the few (trivial) problems we've faced have come from Indian priests in this country. No problems in India.

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smallsquirrel

Aside from my in-laws (ha ha) and dealing with the whole messy bureaucracy here in India, not too much hassle.

I will say that you just do not see too many inter-racial (white + indian) couples in India. We live in Bangalore, and we've seen maybe 2-3 other couples like us here. My husband is a Kannadiga and I am from the US.

But people don't make us feel strange. Yes, we do get stares by the more orthodox crowd. But we've had more positive encounters than negative. We've had at least 10 people we don't know come up to as and ask questions (I wear a thali and toe rings, so it's clear we're married) and are delighted at our story.... some have brought us sweets and blessings after just a chance encounter. So I would say, for the most part the reception has been wonderful.

Nick-H

I have not encountered any difficulties, apart from the beaurocrats.

Of course, I don't know what people say when we are not there...

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JamesW

I've been married for seven years. The first six were spent in Coventry, UK and the past year in Pune. No real problems in either location. The only incidents I can remember were both in Coventry. One was a bunch of 14 year-old chavs loitering on the pavement. The other an in-gur-land football shirt clad fool who was rat-arsed at 10am. More sad than distressing. In both cases they seemed to think my wife was a Pakistani - perhaps an educational trip to the sub-continent would be of assistance to them. I've never had a problem in India.

icetea

wow...it makes me wonder if you ppl live on the moon or really in India

infoblues

Well we must be running into the wrong people or something..Because being an interracial couple in India just stinks. Even in a place like Bangalore. Only once did we meet someone that was intrigued and delighted. Other times we've been asked if we were in some kind of "arrangement" you know..the greencard type, even asking my husband if he can help them out in the same way! One man in Delhi insinuated that I was a russian prostitute! Granted that I was always dressed appropriately, and with my husband. Meanwhile, while we were in the US we never had ANY problems..and the ONLY stares were from other Indians..What's their problem?

infoblues

Ohh.. This is the perfect place to post this..there is a web based group for us Americans that are married to Indians called married to india. We talk about everything on there, from growing indian veggies, recipes, to inlaw trouble and cultural differences.
http://www.marriedtoindia.com

mineja

hmm,russian prostitutes are allready exploring india?!

infoblues

Well..,When we were there on Embassy row in Delhi, and while waiting for our cab to come back and pick us up, we took a short walk down the street, walking past all the different embassies. I suppose I swayed too far on the sidewalk when we came in front of the Russian embassy or something.
Apparently a few indian men have been getting it on with some russian ladies..Who knows.. I wonder if it has anything to do with the whole mail order bride thing. I have seen a few personals in the local newspaper from addresses in Russia..So who knows..

smallsquirrel

wow info... am so sorry to hear that. I think it is probably a different experience for everyone.

have you ever been in an interracial relationship before?

I ask because the first one is always the hardest. You tend to notice things more and react to them. As time goes on you just blow off most things. Of course someone calling you a prostitute is not something one could easily blow off regardless. how rude of them! sheeeeesh

but we've had (fingers crossed) a great time here. only outright harassed once by an auto driver, and that got ugly... but had more to do with me being american than us being married...

Shaktipalooza

I'm married to a Telugu girl. Can't say we've ever had an encounter while traveling in India or living here in the US. I think it's a little easier since my darkish (non honky) complexion often has people assuming I'm from North India. The biggest argument I ever had about marrying an Indian girl was during lunch with a (former) friend who concluded that since I was interested in Indian women, I must therefore be interested in submissive women. SUBMISSIVE?!?! If Mrs Shaktipalooza had been present she would have ripped her arms off and beaten her with the limbs.

We have had cultural clashes in the past. Usually it's been some nuanced form of communication that led to confusion. Mrs S is a very assertive and strong woman who had no problem letting her reluctant family know they really didn't have a choice in the matter of our engagement. They accepted it and now have our marriage to thank for their first grandchild, a son, you know that must have scored extra bonus points

I'm agnostic, Mrs S is Hindu. We don't have any conflicts over religion. Our son will experience Hindu traditions just like anyone else living in India.

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Nick-H

Mrs N is sometimes annoyed that people go out of their way to say hello... she (rightly) says they wouldn't bother to do that for another Indian.

Some Indians have a sort-of 'wow you hit the jackpot' attitude that she married a foreigner. Probably because they assume we are all rich (I wish...).

Some compliment Mrs H on having trained me to dress the way I do (traditional S. India style) --- which, of course, I was doing long before I met her.

Most just don't bother or appear to make any difference at all.

Some people assume she is foreign too (even in a sari).

Soujanya

Mymymy, this is all SO amusing!!! Won't it be wonderful if I find an American or a Britisher or an Australian or whoever too in my future as my husband?!! Lol!! That'll be awesome!! I find it so bad that people[specially in India] still go into this caste/religion system! I have just turned 18 and sometimes I tend to be kinda diplomatic n talk all kindsa saintly things like any of our Indiamikers And...My parents start pouncing on me and think me to be wierd but alas,they can't help but agree the truth that after all,In the end,All that matters is a person's personality and character and not religion/caste/nationality. It's a shame there are so many wars on this basis and we would be better people and a better soicety if all of us would think the same and I hope we will one day!!!