Help! Canadian needs help on the process to marry an INR (Bombay)

misti

Hi everyone,
I am a Canadian and have fallen for a beautiful Indian girl in Bombay. We have set a date for me to visit in September and would like to get married at that time. Can anyone...help. I am completely in the dark on the process and she is not very knowledgeable on this matter either.
She live in Bombay (Mumbai) so if you can help or direct us to someone there we would most certainly appreciate it.
Basically, what is the process?
What is the minimum time frame we are looking at?
What are the costs...average of course..unless you have specific recommendations?
Looking forward to hearing from everyone.
Thank You All

Nick-H

Check out the Special Marriage Act. India has different marriage laws for people of different religions. Whilst the Special Act is for people of mixed religions, it is also handy for mixed nationalities/religions too.

Ask her to check out where is her local register office. She can talk to them about the requirements. one of you (she) needs to have lived in the register office area for 30 days or more, and you have to give 30 days notice of the wedding.

Register office weddings in India are soulless formalities; if you are not having a religious ceremony, do have something of your own making.

Quite a few of us here have done it: look for other threads.

Congratulations .

edwardseco

Okay, somebody has to start the process off 30 days in advance by making the notification of marriage. Nick can add a lot more detail as he has done this himself. Mine was done for me. I only arrived in country 5 days in advance and in city a couple of days. In my next life I will be kinder to my inlaws. Registration is required to make it US legal (unless you plan to do a Mick Jagger). If you pay a bit for his trouble you can get the registrar to come to the wedding which is mucho, mucho better than visiting frumpy government offices. My wedding was held at an excellent Veg hotel because I wanted first rate food for the guests (too many cheap Chitpavan wedding meals that later made me ill). My wife paid for her wedding (aside from gold) out of savings from her miniscule ICSSR scholarship. She is the only reason I have a nickel to my name. It was about 4000 Rupees but that was 29 years and 2 days ago. If I told you what my neice's recent wedding cost you would croak. However, that was wealthy Bengali Budralog putting on the dog so... Since I couldn't attend, get this, they hired a foren to attend! In other words from a few thousand (eg. 30) to lakhs plural. Mumbaii is expensive, life. Dowry is extra. I insisted on my amount and refused any hint of negotiation, not a paisa less or more. The wedding took a day, short and sweet. Lots of details were negotiated and fought about but not by me. The exception is I refused the Bengali dunce hat since the groom is already playing the part. That joke flew by my impending inlaws but they skipped the hat. Vows were in Sanscrit. A charming man stood nearby and muttered them and I repeated it exactly. Afterwards I got complimented on my Sanscrit so it was a perfect Salvador Dali day. I kept the list down to a hundred invitees and a couple hundred people were really POed at me. Get a professional photographer! I let everyone bring cameras and that was goofy. Tip the helpers plenty. It turned out to be extraordinary good fortune for me soon after. I spent most of the night and early morning explaining the birds and the bees to my bride and ended up scandalously late to the family celebration meal the next day which seemed to raise my standing.

Have a d... fine time at your wedding and don't be cheap on the honeymoon. Make memories that last a lifetime. This tip I received along the way.
The best tips on married life I got were from divorced guys. Before I got married I asked every divorced guy that I knew what to do since I figured they knew all the mistakes..

edwardseco

What is an INR.?

Nick-H

An Indian Rupee. You've heard of 'marrying money'!

(I took it to mean an Indian Resident...)

capt_mahajan

a drunk non resident indian.

__________________
When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don't see heaven, or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and human tragedy. -Heller, Catch-22

mirjamd

Congratulations on your wedding plans!

Costs can vary as much as you want. It depends on how many guests she has to invite (yes, HAS to, sometimes you just have to invite your sister-in-law's driver's family too...), it depends on the extravagance of the food and whether you do it in a 5-star hotel or at a cheaper place.

It seems really quick to have the wedding in September if you are doing the whole big Indian wedding thing. We started planning 4 months in advance, and that was quite short already.

To give you an idea of the costs, we had a mehendi day with about 50 guests, a wedding with 250 guests, a reception with music for 400 guests (which are all really low numbers, at least in South-India apparently) and we put up some friends and family friends in hotels. We spent about 7 or 8 lakh (thanks to some connections for cheaper food, decoration and alcohol, it should have been more).

misti

Thank you all for your suggestions and recommendations. Since, I am here in Canada. I have requested that my darling in Mumbai to make the "notification of marriage". (thank you edwardseco). and yes Edwardseco....I read that INR is used to reference the local currency but also as (Indian National Resident)...so, in this case it is not will not be a marriage for "money" lol ...but rather more simply "love". And for you Nick-H...thank you for the direction on her contacting the local office. captn mahajan....I thought so too...after all how could a large bottom oval shaped egg topple over a wall....hmm...makes me think he was either pushed or intoxicated .... .
and last but certainly not least...mirjamd..... thank you for the planning tips and total cost ...7-8 lakh is a similar cost to a wedding here in Canada. I thought it would much less expensive and also hoping so because; I certainly don't want to go bankrupt after this...so...the search to a reasonable caterer and site will begin. ...Pending all follows through in a timely fashion...we have begun talks on the topic of Honeymoons...and places to go. We both want to go to the infamous Taj and have thought of the Palace on Wheels tour that goes through Jaipur Agra... I have also suggested a trip to Paris to her but ....not certain where we will end-up as I have suggested to her, I will take her almost anywhere in the world for the honeymoon; the choice is hers. Any other suggestions are welcome along the way.... I will keep you all abreast of changes and developments as they happen...again thank you all for your input and suggestions...

Nick-H

Our wedding cost us very much less, but there was no family to speak of, just about thirty friends with food and traditional music.

misti

For anyone who may need to refer to it, here is the link to the Special Marriage Act-1954:

http://www.legalserviceindia.com/helpline/marriage.htm
Cheers

mirjamd

Your plans for the honeymoon sound great

Just curious, will you have a big wedding with a lot of guests? And what kind of ceremony will you have?

Good luck with all preparations and have fun!

edwardseco

I knew I got something wrong at the marriage. Next time 84 year old rich widow with a pacemaker. I'll wear a thong and a see through apron on the wedding night. In honor of Nick I read the Cornwall news and this is apparently the new custom for resthomes. They go out happy!

Seen a few of these too. Unfortunately, I was too smashed to criticize. What is your favorite drink, assuming you sometimes tibble? I know Nick will go for a beer. Maybe not that warm gruel which is becoming rare in England (also off the news).

Wedding halls can set things up easily but can get booked up in season. A hotel simplifies food but you still have to make other arrangements. Your wife will get everything cheaper. Make sure if you do a religious wedding that your pandit is cool with an interfaith marriage. This needs to be settled at the first and keep a backup..

Nick-H

Naaahhhh. Leave me out of the beer round. Make mine a chai

edwardseco

A special chai it is..