anyone else finding it really tough?

girlone · Oct 10th, 2006, 22:03

Living in India, I mean? I have days where I love it, but to be completely honest, they are few and far between.
Is it still culture shock (I have been off the boat 3 mths today)? Is it just me?

Anyone got any ideas to help me settle in? Would be much appreciated...

capt_mahajan · Oct 10th, 2006, 22:19

which city are you in?

New-South-Welshman · Oct 10th, 2006, 22:19

It gets very tough. I knew sometimes I wanted to just cry because I was very homesick. What took away homesickness was travelling, and meeting up with ex-pats and people from my home country. Keep yourself occupied and you will get used to it. Trustme. Kind of like adjusting to a knew school while you were a kid.

Tapestry · Oct 10th, 2006, 22:27

It's definitely not easy. I'm also wondering which city you are in. What are your specific frustrations - maybe we can help troubleshoot (or at least sympathize).

girlone · Oct 10th, 2006, 22:31

I am in Delhi.

I don't think it is homesickness - I left home 3 years ago and have yet to return. But I do know the 'i want to just cry' feeling well!

Tapestry · Oct 10th, 2006, 22:45

Do you have expat friends you hang out with? That made a huge difference for me.

capt_mahajan · Oct 10th, 2006, 22:48

suggestions (not an expat, but have been a foreigner in a lot more countries than I can count!)

-dont bite off more than you can chew. india can be overwhelming, little things can add up and get you down, it can be stifling.

-pursue your interests. delhi is one of the cities which has a lot to variety on offer, and you will meet people with whom you have something in common.

-explore delhi. it has a deep and colourful history. this site gives you a lot of information on delhi. in my opinion, delhi is also ideally placed for travel to such varied places as rajasthan and uttaranchal.

-new south welshman is right in saying meeting people from your home country or expats helps. cultural differences can sometimes make you feel isolated, which is different from homesickness.

hope this helps.

icetea · Oct 11th, 2006, 00:09

It took me 3 months to actually stop feeling like I'm living in a surreal, hazy, dream-like state. I hated India and everything about it ferociously (still do, to some extent). I just couldn't get used to its dirt, hypocrisy and violence..or to the stares

Nick-H · Oct 11th, 2006, 02:02

There is so much that I don't even notice any longer.

And yet I was oddly shocked to see a naked child crapping on the pavement yesterday.

blackbird · Oct 11th, 2006, 02:17

Mind you, I saw human shit on the pavement not far from the India High Commission in London yesterday (a coincidence I'm sure), and some poor bugger had stepped in it!

crvlvr · Oct 11th, 2006, 02:30

I want to add these to the Capt's list:

-- Lower your expectations. India is a thrid world country the system mostly does not work. And if it does, barely so. Having high expectations can make it more frustrating

-- things could be worse. Think of the starving children in Africa or the civil war in Iraq.

Nick-H · Oct 11th, 2006, 14:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackbird

Mind you, I saw human shit on the pavement not far from the India High Commission in London yesterday (a coincidence I'm sure), and some poor bugger had stepped in it!

I love the mental picture of a HCI London employee downing their trousers and taking a quick pavement crap on the way to work!

(Disclaimer: total flight of fantasy!)

The sad reality is that London has plenty of homeless, and public toilets are, these days, few and far between (though I can think of a free one within striking distance of HCI).

ghummakadz · Oct 11th, 2006, 15:25

I have definitely had my moments of "OMFG Beam me up Scotty now-now-now-now-now." I have always been something of a city mouse, used to urban living, and first-world access to tech (ie, finding whatever you need within a forty-five minute driving radius, and installing it same day). So trying to make tech-y things work in a small town in Himachal has included a steep learning curve, and lots of moments where I was ready to throw everything back into the suitcases and grab the next plane out...

So far what's made the difference for me is a combination of lowering expectations, assuming that nothing will go as planned, and occasionally spending time with other Westerners.
Ironically, I'm now having to make plans to return to the States in a month or so, and I'm finding myself alternately looking forward to returning to "civilization" and looking fondly on the bits of India I've grown to like....

richwar · Oct 11th, 2006, 15:53

It's going on 5 months now since my partner and I moved to Delhi.I too have had my good day,and many other days asking myself"what the %@#! did I agree to come here for.I don't have space for more furniture in my flat,so shopping is done.Now what?
Not sure how to go about meeting other ex-pats.Being in a same-sex relationship has it's added limitations as most ex-pats are family oriented etc...
I was not able to obtain a work visa prior to coming to India,so i have alot of time on my hands.
India is a fascinating place to visit.Living here is a different story though.
So 18 months to go.

icetea · Oct 11th, 2006, 16:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by richwar

India is a fascinating place to visit.Living here is a differant story though.

good point...

Oct 10th, 2006, 22:03	#1
girlone Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: UK Posts: 125	anyone else finding it really tough? Living in India, I mean? I have days where I love it, but to be completely honest, they are few and far between. Is it still culture shock (I have been off the boat 3 mths today)? Is it just me? Anyone got any ideas to help me settle in? Would be much appreciated...

Oct 10th, 2006, 22:19	#3
New-South-Welshman Drunk Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Sydney, NSW Posts: 1,376	It gets very tough. I knew sometimes I wanted to just cry because I was very homesick. What took away homesickness was travelling, and meeting up with ex-pats and people from my home country. Keep yourself occupied and you will get used to it. Trustme. Kind of like adjusting to a knew school while you were a kid. __________________ Mr. Burns "Non-violence never solved anything!"

Oct 11th, 2006, 02:02	#9
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 26,870	There is so much that I don't even notice any longer. And yet I was oddly shocked to see a naked child crapping on the pavement yesterday. __________________ . Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

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Oct 10th, 2006, 22:19	#2
capt_mahajan (in charge of navel affairs) Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: India Posts: 10,105	which city are you in?

Oct 10th, 2006, 22:27	#4
Tapestry Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Delhi Posts: 325	It's definitely not easy. I'm also wondering which city you are in. What are your specific frustrations - maybe we can help troubleshoot (or at least sympathize).

Oct 10th, 2006, 22:31	#5
girlone Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: UK Posts: 125	I am in Delhi. I don't think it is homesickness - I left home 3 years ago and have yet to return. But I do know the 'i want to just cry' feeling well!

Oct 10th, 2006, 22:45	#6
Tapestry Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Delhi Posts: 325	Do you have expat friends you hang out with? That made a huge difference for me.

Oct 10th, 2006, 22:48	#7
capt_mahajan (in charge of navel affairs) Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: India Posts: 10,105	suggestions (not an expat, but have been a foreigner in a lot more countries than I can count!) -dont bite off more than you can chew. india can be overwhelming, little things can add up and get you down, it can be stifling. -pursue your interests. delhi is one of the cities which has a lot to variety on offer, and you will meet people with whom you have something in common. -explore delhi. it has a deep and colourful history. this site gives you a lot of information on delhi. in my opinion, delhi is also ideally placed for travel to such varied places as rajasthan and uttaranchal. -new south welshman is right in saying meeting people from your home country or expats helps. cultural differences can sometimes make you feel isolated, which is different from homesickness. hope this helps.

Oct 11th, 2006, 00:09	#8
icetea 'sort of hate India' club member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Chennai, via Romania Posts: 917	It took me 3 months to actually stop feeling like I'm living in a surreal, hazy, dream-like state. I hated India and everything about it ferociously (still do, to some extent). I just couldn't get used to its dirt, hypocrisy and violence..or to the stares

Oct 11th, 2006, 02:17	#10
blackbird Jai Maa Tarini Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Bristol, England Posts: 385	Mind you, I saw human shit on the pavement not far from the India High Commission in London yesterday (a coincidence I'm sure), and some poor bugger had stepped in it!

Oct 11th, 2006, 02:30	#11
crvlvr Guru Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Hollywood Posts: 4,474	I want to add these to the Capt's list: -- Lower your expectations. India is a thrid world country the system mostly does not work. And if it does, barely so. Having high expectations can make it more frustrating -- things could be worse. Think of the starving children in Africa or the civil war in Iraq.

Oct 11th, 2006, 15:25	#13
ghummakadz Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Rewalsar, HP Posts: 45	I have definitely had my moments of "OMFG Beam me up Scotty now-now-now-now-now." I have always been something of a city mouse, used to urban living, and first-world access to tech (ie, finding whatever you need within a forty-five minute driving radius, and installing it same day). So trying to make tech-y things work in a small town in Himachal has included a steep learning curve, and lots of moments where I was ready to throw everything back into the suitcases and grab the next plane out... So far what's made the difference for me is a combination of lowering expectations, assuming that nothing will go as planned, and occasionally spending time with other Westerners. Ironically, I'm now having to make plans to return to the States in a month or so, and I'm finding myself alternately looking forward to returning to "civilization" and looking fondly on the bits of India I've grown to like....

Oct 11th, 2006, 15:53	#14
richwar Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: delhi india Posts: 17	It's going on 5 months now since my partner and I moved to Delhi.I too have had my good day,and many other days asking myself"what the %@#! did I agree to come here for.I don't have space for more furniture in my flat,so shopping is done.Now what? Not sure how to go about meeting other ex-pats.Being in a same-sex relationship has it's added limitations as most ex-pats are family oriented etc... I was not able to obtain a work visa prior to coming to India,so i have alot of time on my hands. India is a fascinating place to visit.Living here is a different story though. So 18 months to go.

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