Same Sex Couple Moving to Hyderabad?

I knew Bangalore to be Lesbian friendly, but Hyderabad?

I am not saying Hyderabad is lesbian friendly.
I am saying Hyderabadis are incredibly friendly people and the city is amazing.

And, that if you go as 'friends' and are politically confortable with a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy, then you will not encounter major problems.

Hyderabad is a conservative place. And that is part of it's charm. it is what it is.
You can either keep your sexuality lowkey, respect the conservativism of the place and have a peaceful stay. Or you can make a political choice to be overt about your sexuality in an attempt to challenge the social and policitcal status quo (if you believe this is your place as a foreginer) and take the shit and problems that comes with that.

Ultimately, what I am saying is that Hyderabad rocks. And noone should miss out on the chance to visit such a lovely city. Certainly not on account of be lesbian.

And, if it is true what asha210 says, that Bangalore is lesbian friendly, then it is only a short overnight trainride away (and Steven_Ber will be more than happy to advice you on the train routes ). So if you need to hook up with the community you can always head down there. Personally I am not very partial to Bangalore, but each to their own......

Essentially, the message is, Hyderabad rules!

Not saying this is gospel, but there is a lot brewing beneath the surface of Hyderabad's conservative appearance. It is just not talked about...
I suspect, as 'Hyderabadi' hints at, "There are secrets... unrevealed to pharangs"

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/index.p...nid=30&Itemid=

This was a fabulous post for this thread. I am a lesbian, and will be traveling to Hyderabad to study at the University for 5 months starting this July. My partner will not be going with me. I had been wondering about how (not to) approach the issue. I was even thinking of just referring to my partner as a "he" and leaving all else the same (when it comes up).

It is good to know that a simple don't ask, don't tell policy will be fine though

My main concern at this point is that I would like to get to Hyderabad and feel things out a bit before I decide how I refer to her (a friend/roommate back home that I miss, or just refer to her as my boyfriend). This will have to be decided quickly, since I will be traveling with several (American) strangers who will be on the same program as me.

Same sex relationships are socially not acceptable in India yet. Any large city in India whether Bangalore or Hyderabad have a mix of folks ranging from very conservative to very liberal. some even in the most liberal group might twitch an eyebrow if you tell them that you are gay. This is a topic which is mostly not talked about openly and freely.
That said as some others have indicated you are perfectly safe in any of the cities. You might get some stares or awkward behavior or some behind the back murmuring at the most.

To avoid the hassle you might choose to aknowledge:
- You are a single mother. That is not going to be a problem and its pretty acceptable. Very few people would actually go as far as to ask about your marriage and you can always say you dont want to talk about it. That works well and people respect that.
- You are travelling with your friend. You can share rooms, beds anything. No problemo.
- Friendly affection in public is pretty normal. I think people can make out the difference between friendly and romantic public intimacy.
- If you are travelling alone you can again refer to your partner back home as a friend and flatmate, which is true.
I think speaking part truth is more easy and comfortable than telling a complete lie.

Most people will not be rude enough to insist on knowing your personal life. They think foriegners are strange
Then there will be some smart ones who would figure out the truth but then they wouldnt mind.
Besides to let people keep guessing is a better way to deal with it. That element of uncertainity makes most things acceptable.

These are by no means the rules, just some thoughts that came to mind when I read this thread.

This is logical, sound advice. This seems to be the way to go. I can easily not tell people the whole truth, and let them wonder if they will

I am sure you will have a great time here. feel free to yell out if you have any other queries.

This thread has certainly gotten a lot of interest! I am very grateful for this forum to gather so much information--thank you!
The situation keeps changing here in NYC due to the economy, so we still don't know if we are going to be able to come to Hyderabad, but if we do if will be after 2010.
Either way, I do feel comfortable going there and I know we'll be just fine with whatever story we come up with.
The extra months gives my partner some more time to grow out her hair...she may function better in the b-world there with longer hair!!

Hope you still manage to go. if not to live then at least to visit.

A woman's hair is her beauty. If your girlfriend doesn't want to grow it out she can always tell people she recently visited Tirumala and offered her hair to Venkateshwara...

This Sunday (28th of June) is Queer Pride in Delhi http://delhiqueerpride.blogspot.com/...ride-2009.html so keep an eye on the media, and if your currently in India, why not head to Delhi to show your support!


Also, current debates in Indian media:
http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes...-you-to-change
http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes...-t-spread-like

Hyderabad is a lovely city. I wud vote for you to make it to hyderabad. its only when u take up a house, you will be asked the details on ho u r. else, people are least bothered. you dont have to cook up any story whatsoever.

Indian Court Overturns Gay Sex Ban

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/03/wo...a.html?_r=1&hp


What great news today in India!!

That is a great, huge step in the right direction!

I have also been wondering how to refer to my wife back home. I hate lying.
But some truth mixed with a turned conversation I can probably do. Do you think it likely my coworkers will ask a lot of personal questions?

I know it's a bit different for men in India, but I travelled with my boss, who's 40, and I'm 51. We slept together, on the same bed, travelled together, were seen to be together all the time. No one really asked us what was going on. A few people just assumed we were bonking.
We share a room at the ashram, are always together in the fields, they even started calling me Mrs. Singh!! as a joke. It's hard to describe, but people just assume things, but would never say anything.
You can get away with a lot of stuff as a westerner. They know about as much about western living habits, as you do about Indian ones.
Can't see the problem really.
We stayed in some pretty conservative places, even when we went to stay at his parent's place, we slept in the same bed.
It's kind of normal in India.

IS SO SAD that u have to lie in such a way just to not be in uncomfortable situations but its true....i think thats the kind of things that i dont really like bout the country, im sorry no offence to anyone but i think that there are worst things happenin in d city, there can be awful things but as long as they r done under d water everyone is fine....and when it comes to a couple raising a baby they judge u like danggg crazy...