walking into the house without knocking

dumminysmith

So I understand that this kind of thing is basically culture relative. As I have understood, it's better to have your rooms locked all the time to avoid these kinds of incidents.

Wildhorse

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Amos.

Amos who?

A mosquito.


Ooooold joke ... but I find it funny

Nick-H

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Anne.

Anne who?

Anne-other mosquito.

palerider

Knock Knock
Whos there?

Stella.

Stella who?.

Stella-nother Mosquito!!

__________________
I always wanted to be someone when I grew up, I realise now that I should have been more specific.

Hal

Knock knock
Who's there?
Adam
Adam who?
A dam Mosquito!

Brisso

If folks lack the commodity of knocking before entering, perhaps you could purchase some for them at the knocking shop.

PeakXV

If this house is a rockin', don't come a knockin'!

__________________
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Don't go to India ~ Pre-trip Warnings & Misconceptions?

Nick-H

Stella has a sister, Yeeta.

Yeeta Nother Mosquito will be around soon


(Thank you, Wildhorse, for taking me back to 1950s jokes )

Wildhorse

Anytime. Mind you, I'm not THAT old. I first heard this in the eighties. The nineteen-eighties.

just_an_old_boy

This is not a cultural aspect as misunderstood by many.

To understand this ones needs to spend some time in a village household of reasonable means.

There goes...

In villages it is common to have a large open courtyard where family members gather. However, one may not have a fence or a hedge at the boundary of the property, i.e. at the place where the courtyard joins the common road.

Once you enter a property and cross the courtyard, one will find a verandah or a portico of some sort...usually a raised platform compared to ground level. After that the doors to the rooms will open.

Also, note that the cooking and sanitation areas maybe separate from the main house in many regions.


>>

So what happens when someone decides to drop in?

1. People will usually shout and enquire from the road itself or may even proceed to the courtyard and park themselves there. Villagers selling wares, roaming ascetics and strangers will rarely step in the courtyard.

2. People employed for various tasks (farm hands), casual neighbours, some persistant beggars may wait upon at the courtyard.

3. People well acquainted will go upto the verandah and sit down if no one is yet available in sight. Only very well aquainted people in close circle will think of stepping in someones verandah.

4. EXCEPTION to the above are the household servants, they have access everywhere. But in villages, we must note that servants and household help are like family members.

The point is traditional Indian homes have very well defined circles of comfort zones.

>>

Imagine, the confusion these village people face when reach cities for menial jobs and stand outside cramped apartments.

Many elderly people are horrified to find toilets and kitchens sharing walls.

>>

Someone raised a point about people dropping in unannounced.

Again, it is very difficult for city bred youngsters to imagine.

Till recently people didn't posses telephones and modes of transport were difficult. In rural areas, its still a case that you go to a relatives place few villages away and you will have to stay put there to start back next day.

Now, I can understand the anxiety many people have displayed. In Delhi, I too prefer people tell me before they decide to pay a visit.

However, this was not the case always, when snobbery was not a life style choice.
People were not ashamed to welcome friends and strangers alike in their modest homes and were ready serve atleast plain meals, no matter at what hour it be.

Finally, I don't know about sexual habits of people, but as far as the underwear arguement goes people in India make an effort to put a presentable appearance. Try stepping into a poor labourers hut and see the reaction.

Lack of space restricts privacy, but modesty can make up for that.

brishti

gosh! JAOB... you bring back them childhood memories
not a village - but in those days it was a small town - now its a city.
verandah - yes... but the courtyard was inside the house... and all the rooms surrounded it.
the front door was opened at 5 in the morning - and opened it remained till 10 at night.
the gate in front of the house was never shut.
'open house' had a different connotation in them days i guess...
guests always visited unannounced - never left without eating -
out of town folks stayed on for as long as they liked...
mi casa su casa
this hospitality not only extended to family or friends -
but anybody in the locality who happened to drop in for whatever reason.
the house was always full of people... and its not that my grandfather was a zamindar or wealthy -
he was a salaried person - and our needs were basic.

vendors walked in through the front gate - hollered in front of the front door.
they were directed to the the side of the house - next to the kitchen.
always given water and/or chai - and to them regular vendors sweets on festive occasions.

nowadays we dont have them verandah wallah homes no more...
but to some extent - that code still exists.
to families who have stay at home housewives - we do the same, even today
and i guess i must be lucky - because i sure as hell do the same to my friends...
drop in unannounced at any time, and yes, meals are always shared



thank you JAOB - it was an absolute pleasure reading your post thank you!
:brishti

just_an_old_boy

You are welcome.

Yes, the courtyard is supposed to be technically "inside", and in your case it was a suburban setting.

My ancestral home is in one of the border villages in North 24 Paragana district and also from what I heard from my father about our pre-partition home in Dhaka, the absence of a wall / fence / hedge meant no door or gate was needed or even possible to install.

Yes, it is a bygone era. We used to gather for summer vacations, uncles, aunts, cousins.

Our house was (is) flanked by a small bamboo forest and a pond to the East (used to have low hanging mango tree along its banks, one if its branch was used as a diving board), a large mango orchard to the West, a frontyard (about 50-70 ft) with rows of China Roses (Joba Kusum?) leading upto the verandah. To the South was a stretch of kitchen garden leading upto the village primary school. These consisted our property.

People going or returning from the village 'haat' (for IMer's rural weekly market) would just drop in, put down their belongings and sit down for a cup of tea.

Boston123

Just think.. even in the 1970's not many homes had phone connections.. How would you call in advance and let people know you were coming? I recall many a trip we took to friends/ relatives, without confirming if they would be home!
Also the use of refrigerators to store food for long periods, and not shopping for vegetables at least a few times a week, is a relatively recent phenomena.. I recall always having a little extra food cooked,so feeding an unexpected visitor was never an issue.Mind you, this was when food grains/ cereals were rationed pretty severely !

jituyadav

In my childhood, our house was never locked. Sometimes when all of us were out for some or the other reason, anybody who came waited by making tea for themselves and devouring on stuff from the refrigerator...

__________________
I started with nothing and I still have most of it!

just_an_old_boy

People visiting India get a snapshot of a society in transition which is neither here nor there.

The snapshots are misunderstood to be definitive cultural traits, which they are not.

However, as the half a dozen posts above indicate, there are significant cultural differences. Privacy is a must when individual is at the center of the universe.

In India, society take the centerstage, our "open home" tradition is a small reflection of that. One cannot be sure whether this tradition will make the balance for privacy demands or not.

Our urban society is loosing this trait.

Imagine a outsider to the city knocking your door in summer afternoon looking for an address for hours, whom you would like to wish away as soon as possible. Or imagine a faraway friend or a relative of your neighbour learns from you that their aquaintance is away for few hours.

The way some urban people react to these sudden visitors depresses me .