walking into the house without knocking

puchoo · Feb 9th, 2009, 16:25

I am an Indian , and no way is this considered good behavior... i would not do it , neither would i just land up at a friends place...

Its not about being obsessed with sensitivities unnecessarily , but i think there are some which are universal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilBoy BigTown

I
So I burp loudly, or clear my throat in the middle of a quiet cinema and never excuse myself. What's the big deal? Don't be a touch me not.

M

LilBoy BigTown · Feb 9th, 2009, 16:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by puchoo

I am an Indian , and no way is this considered good behavior... i would not do it , neither would i just land up at a friends place...

Its not about being obsessed with sensitivities unnecessarily , but i think there are some which are universal.

Ofcourse it isn't, but an average Indian wouldn't know that. Blame it on awareness, education or whatever you may like, but how does something become universal if a vast majority of people do not know how it's seen by someone else?

That brings me to my original point, it's a culture thing.

puchoo · Feb 9th, 2009, 16:35

Fair point , but maybe my choice of the word was not correct...

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilBoy BigTown

O but how does something become universal if a vast majority of people do not know how it's seen by someone else?

artisticanurag · Feb 9th, 2009, 16:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by puchoo

Fair point , but maybe my choice of the word was not correct...

Puchoo we all know that your not the average Indian, so

theyyamdancer · Feb 9th, 2009, 17:08

It's not just in India! In Crete and other rural areas in Greece people visit without warning and it is considered quite normal. To have to announce oneself in advance is considered "foreign" behaviour. We laughed recently when comparing notes with Indian friends about the similarities between Greece and India in this respect. Yes, it has its upside; yes, it has its downside. As Mach said earlier in this thread there is a sense of communal life which you don't find (usually) in cities. For instance, when we suffer here from forest fires then everyone is looking out for the danger together. The interference in neighbours' lives works both ways. But it is equally true that you might be sunbathing in your garden and surprised by people just walking in without knocking on the door. Oh and they always expect food and drink to be rustled up at any hour of the day. It is called hospitality!

puchoo · Feb 9th, 2009, 17:13

Thats what i meant to communicate as well when i said

i dont think its generic, and is localized to people and personalities

Quote:

Originally Posted by theyyamdancer

It's not just in India! In Crete and other rural areas in Greece people visit without warning and it is considered quite normal. !

machadinha · Feb 9th, 2009, 17:27

More good points, Theyyam, and ah, the Mediterranean life indeed

I was reminded of many people not having a phone anyway, so you'd think nothing of walking for an hour in the heat to look someone up just for a chat, then if they were not there, maybe try again later that day. Or use the occasion to make some other neighborhood calls no doubt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by theyyamdancer

Oh and they always expect food and drink to be rustled up at any hour of the day. It is called hospitality!

But of course! Still have trouble cooking "just enough" for that matter; but what if someone goes hungry, god forbid, or unexpected guests show up?

In fact this is said to be one handy aspect of e.g. Oriental cuisines, where an extra side dish (instead of one or two main courses) can always easily be turned out to accommodate more people.

(And come to think of it, in my Dutch village too it would have been unthinkable to let a guest go unfed. We are however renowned to for the same reason find it incredibly rude to show up unannounced at dinner time.)

Landlords and the likes barging in unannounced however... Well, arguably a less welcome thing, no matter where you're at no doubt.

carlaeb · Feb 9th, 2009, 18:44

All very interesting!

I guess I should point out that my landlord and neighbor both live on the same property. I think they feel more like we are in an extended house than three individual houses. Obviously I disagree. I guess I shouldn't say they come in unannounced. They come in UNINVITED. They always shout my name or knock and then walk in. But they don't stand outside and wait for me to come open the door. They just come in. This is unnerving to me as if I'm in the kitchen with the radio on, I can't hear them.

It had just happened, so I was just blowing off steam about something I find humorous when I wrote the post. The truth is that I have a maid who comes twice a week at the same time each day to wash my clothes for me. She is honest and punctual and responsible. And yet still I've found something to complain about. How spoiled am I?

OK

To continue the topic, what do you think of this:
When I'm in Delhi, I stay with my husband's family in a relatively small flat. This means, of course, that there is very little privacy. (No problem, we all get along fine). But living like this has made me think about what it must feel like to grow up that way. Someone here said something about parents who don't respect their children's privacy, and I wonder if perhaps that has something to do with why Indian teenagers turn out so delightful in comparison to their Western counterparts? They don't spend as much time sitting in their private rooms brooding over private matters or going out with friends far away from their parents' eyes to participate in private things that they may not be mature enough to handle? I'm always amazed in Indian families when the teens will sit around and hang out with the grown ups without the attitude of "everyone here is so stupid and I wish I were alone doing cool things". Am I romanticizing? Generalizing?

sweetmango · Feb 9th, 2009, 19:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by carlaeb

Obviously I disagree. I guess I shouldn't say they come in unannounced. They come in UNINVITED. They always shout my name or knock and then walk in. But they don't stand outside and wait for me to come open the door. They just come in.

Yes, I was going to say that the usual practice is that if the door is open or unlocked, people would walk in while calling out to someone. I don't really see anything wrong with that. It is only sales people or strangers that are made to wait at the door.

Quote:

Originally Posted by carlaeb

Someone here said something about parents who don't respect their children's privacy, and I wonder if perhaps that has something to do with why Indian teenagers turn out so delightful in comparison to their Western counterparts? They don't spend as much time sitting in their private rooms brooding over private matters or going out with friends far away from their parents' eyes to participate in private things that they may not be mature enough to handle? I'm always amazed in Indian families when the teens will sit around and hang out with the grown ups without the attitude of "everyone here is so stupid and I wish I were alone doing cool things". Am I romanticizing? Generalizing?

With respect to the upbringing of chidren, I always admire the way Indian kids can get along with any age group. They play with young children, talk to adults and joke with elders. It's very heart-warming to see this - (though city kids are trying to be more like their Western counterparts these days). This does come from the privacy thing - usually the teenagers who are friendly and warm do not have their own room and are forced to spend time with other members of the family.

Digital Drifter · Feb 9th, 2009, 21:58

When you don't have a sense of entitlement in terms of privacy, maybe?

IF I HAD a room to myself, I'd be like any european or American teenager. Since housing itself is expensive in India, you modulate your behaviour in the absence of a room for yourself.

Might look pavlovian but it isn't.

RPG · Feb 9th, 2009, 22:37

In the US, back in the eighties (?), there used to be a comedy involving a woman with two teen daughters living in an apartment, and their janitor. I don't remember a whole lot about it except one of the daughters was Mackenzie Phillips (daughter of a Mama and a Papa).

In the show the janitor would walk into their apt all the time, without knocking, through an open front door. Seemed like India to me, but not in a good way. I was glad that this was not a realistic depiction of life in the US.

artisticanurag · Feb 9th, 2009, 23:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by RPG

In the US, back in the eighties (?), there used to be a comedy involving a woman with two teen daughters living in an apartment, and their janitor. I don't remember a whole lot about it except one of the daughters was Mackenzie Phillips (daughter of a Mama and a Papa).

In the show the janitor would walk into their apt all the time, without knocking, through an open front door. Seemed like India to me, but not in a good way. I was glad that this was not a realistic depiction of life in the US.

Yes i dont know why we are arguing about this.

PeakXV · Feb 9th, 2009, 23:41

I never had a problem with this in India. Knock, knock, knocking like a woodpecker on a caffeine binge - yes,often.

Our business always paid well for the apartments we hired and demanded privacy & respect with regards to visitation hours (& entry procedures) from landlords and their residual clientele.

You should set a precedent with body language & verbage right off the hop though - leaving the door 'half open' in this respect may have eventual, undesirable results.

RWeHavingFunYet · Feb 10th, 2009, 01:17

.
.
.
.
.
Well, one way to teach them a lesson is by using the situation to do some scary pranks especially on your landlord.
.
.
Here're some ideas. Have fun.

Nick-H · Feb 10th, 2009, 02:47

We keep the gate locked!

Sometimes we miss people we actually wanted to see, but mostly it keeps the sales people and the beggars out.

Our maid and gardener have keys to the gate lock, so can always access the garden; I'm not sure what our maid does in the early morning, I'm asleep, but generally, if expected, she just walks in, if not, she stands outside and shouts, "Ma!"

Feb 9th, 2009, 21:58	#25
Digital Drifter bang a whore? Bangalore Dammit! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Bangalore Posts: 2,405	When you don't have a sense of entitlement in terms of privacy, maybe? IF I HAD a room to myself, I'd be like any european or American teenager. Since housing itself is expensive in India, you modulate your behaviour in the absence of a room for yourself. Might look pavlovian but it isn't. __________________ Click here for the Indiamike train guide in PDF

Feb 9th, 2009, 23:41	#28
PeakXV Naan.tering Nabob Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Abode of Glooscap Posts: 5,881	I never had a problem with this in India. Knock, knock, knocking like a woodpecker on a caffeine binge - yes,often. Our business always paid well for the apartments we hired and demanded privacy & respect with regards to visitation hours (& entry procedures) from landlords and their residual clientele. You should set a precedent with body language & verbage right off the hop though - leaving the door 'half open' in this respect may have eventual, undesirable results. __________________ What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Don't go to India ~ Pre-trip Warnings & Misconceptions?

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Feb 9th, 2009, 17:08	#20
theyyamdancer lost in Mechuka member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Crete Posts: 4,426	It's not just in India! In Crete and other rural areas in Greece people visit without warning and it is considered quite normal. To have to announce oneself in advance is considered "foreign" behaviour. We laughed recently when comparing notes with Indian friends about the similarities between Greece and India in this respect. Yes, it has its upside; yes, it has its downside. As Mach said earlier in this thread there is a sense of communal life which you don't find (usually) in cities. For instance, when we suffer here from forest fires then everyone is looking out for the danger together. The interference in neighbours' lives works both ways. But it is equally true that you might be sunbathing in your garden and surprised by people just walking in without knocking on the door. Oh and they always expect food and drink to be rustled up at any hour of the day. It is called hospitality!

Feb 9th, 2009, 18:44	#23
carlaeb I can change my title?!! (...nothing witty to say) Join Date: May 2008 Location: Candolim Posts: 528	All very interesting! I guess I should point out that my landlord and neighbor both live on the same property. I think they feel more like we are in an extended house than three individual houses. Obviously I disagree. I guess I shouldn't say they come in unannounced. They come in UNINVITED. They always shout my name or knock and then walk in. But they don't stand outside and wait for me to come open the door. They just come in. This is unnerving to me as if I'm in the kitchen with the radio on, I can't hear them. It had just happened, so I was just blowing off steam about something I find humorous when I wrote the post. The truth is that I have a maid who comes twice a week at the same time each day to wash my clothes for me. She is honest and punctual and responsible. And yet still I've found something to complain about. How spoiled am I? OK To continue the topic, what do you think of this: When I'm in Delhi, I stay with my husband's family in a relatively small flat. This means, of course, that there is very little privacy. (No problem, we all get along fine). But living like this has made me think about what it must feel like to grow up that way. Someone here said something about parents who don't respect their children's privacy, and I wonder if perhaps that has something to do with why Indian teenagers turn out so delightful in comparison to their Western counterparts? They don't spend as much time sitting in their private rooms brooding over private matters or going out with friends far away from their parents' eyes to participate in private things that they may not be mature enough to handle? I'm always amazed in Indian families when the teens will sit around and hang out with the grown ups without the attitude of "everyone here is so stupid and I wish I were alone doing cool things". Am I romanticizing? Generalizing?

Feb 9th, 2009, 22:37	#26
RPG Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Timbuktu Posts: 383	In the US, back in the eighties (?), there used to be a comedy involving a woman with two teen daughters living in an apartment, and their janitor. I don't remember a whole lot about it except one of the daughters was Mackenzie Phillips (daughter of a Mama and a Papa). In the show the janitor would walk into their apt all the time, without knocking, through an open front door. Seemed like India to me, but not in a good way. I was glad that this was not a realistic depiction of life in the US.

Feb 10th, 2009, 01:17	#29
RWeHavingFunYet .. . . . N . o . r . i . k . o . . . .. Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: 17°25'N, 78°31'E Posts: 233	. . . . . Well, one way to teach them a lesson is by using the situation to do some scary pranks especially on your landlord. . . Here're some ideas. Have fun.

Feb 10th, 2009, 02:47	#30
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,234	We keep the gate locked! Sometimes we miss people we actually wanted to see, but mostly it keeps the sales people and the beggars out. Our maid and gardener have keys to the gate lock, so can always access the garden; I'm not sure what our maid does in the early morning, I'm asleep, but generally, if expected, she just walks in, if not, she stands outside and shouts, "Ma!"