The quirks of Indian English

Oh, just that I've never set foot in Bengal, and have never had a real close Bengali friend, so my deficiency in Bengali humor is somewhat understandable, no?

I get all the very corny Punjabi jokes, and admit to enjoying about half of them. But talk about rustic humor - it can't get more rustic than a Punjabi joke!
(Before I get any flames, I'm Punjabi, so I'm entitled to make fun of us folk).

This is the English of the six-year-old schoolboy with a plastic gun: "I'm going to kill you dead! Really dead!"

Here's the BBC, continuing its march towards the destruction of our language: I didn't know that legal loopholes could be deadly. Haven't they heard of commas?

You are right Aishah, but I have seen that advert too and it is clear that the redundancy here is deliberate and used for comic effect. "Domestos kill all known germs - pause, then a bang sound , and then "dead!." Sometime the rules are broken deliberately,as in this case, for effect and for humour.

However, I don't think that one could get away with what my colleagues said. "My wife is unwell today. She suspects that she is a little bit pregnant." Killing dead my be possible but partial pregnancy, I fear, is not.

...That's the old schoolgirl-talking-to-parent joke: "But... I'm only a bit pregnant..." .

Used to be 99% of all know germs; have they improved it? Or is this "improvement only in countries where advertisement regulation is not as sctrict?

I have a feeling the 99% of all known germs is another ad - should really have a good listen next time the Domestos one comes on.

LOL, Kevin and Nick - I love the dying from a legal loophole one - what a way to go!!

commas..
Lets eat, Nick, before we go.
Let's eat Nick before we go.

I think that by being "a little bit pregnant" she probably means that the pregnancy has just started; that is she hasn't got big yet.

I haven't lived in an English speaking country for so many years that I didn't know that Domestos had reduced its claim from 'all' to '99 percent' of all know germs. Maybe their legal department is covering them against any claim arising from a germ that it didn't kill, or maybe they have found a germ that it can't kill. It takes the paint off my bathroom door, though, it is difficult to imagine any germ that could survive a dose of Domostos.

Eastern Mind has an understanding of commas. Quite a rare gift!

Yep. Decidedly better than comma ci, comma ca

You never fail to have me bursting out in loud laughter as I read your post, Captain!

Regarding commas, there are those, folks, also, that, as in my former grade 6 class, once they are discovered, tend, well, to overuse them to create odd, run-on sentences, such as this. Still better than overuse of the bloody thesaurus.

One thing I learned about writing is that editing can go on forever. At some point you have to decide.

At least this thread has me listening better to my Tamil friends.

I'm afraid I can do the long sentence thing . I had a colleague who was an editor, degree in English; her use of commas was dreadful, and I used to refuse to typeset them as she wrote them!

which reminds me of the capitalisation joke I read somewhere

I helped my uncle Jack off a horse

vs

I helped my uncle jack off a horse

Once again, can't think of a better way to start the day - with laughter!!