Share Your Indian Humor
Share Your Indian Humor
Often, humor doesn't translate well from one culture to another. Try telling a non-native English speaker from a different culture the funniest joke you have ever heard ... And be prepared for it to fall completely flat.
I enjoy the Indian sense of humor ... Sometimes a little naive ... Sometimes a little stilted by "Indian English" and colloquial turns of phase. But when it's funny, it is memorable.
A funny exchange occurred between a waiter and me in a small roadside restaurant in an out of the way place in the Thar Desert:
I admired the waiter's turban. He quickly unwound it and offered to tie it about my head. Even though it was perspiration soaked and well worn, I agreed. Holding the end tightly in my teeth, he wound it round and round my head. After he finished the tie, he called me "Maharaja."
I responded, "If I'm the Maharaja, where is my dancing girl"? Without missing a beat, he brought his hand to his ear and mouth as if he was holding a phone. With intensity and great concentration, he spoke into the "phone" as follows:
"Mona (where did he come up with that name?), the Maharaja is waiting!"
"You're Where? ...... What? ...... When? ..... "
He brought the "phone" down from his ear, looked me right in the eye, and with great formality and resignation, he informed me:
"Sorry sir .... Mona is stuck in traffic."
His timing, improvisation and concentration were perfect ... Made all the more funny by the fact that we were in the middle of nowhere and the only traffic was mostly camel.
This memory still makes me laugh ... And my fantasy dancing girl will always be known in my dreams as "Mona" ... And always and to my everlasting regret "stuck in traffic."
Please share your laughable Indian moments....
I enjoy the Indian sense of humor ... Sometimes a little naive ... Sometimes a little stilted by "Indian English" and colloquial turns of phase. But when it's funny, it is memorable.
A funny exchange occurred between a waiter and me in a small roadside restaurant in an out of the way place in the Thar Desert:
I admired the waiter's turban. He quickly unwound it and offered to tie it about my head. Even though it was perspiration soaked and well worn, I agreed. Holding the end tightly in my teeth, he wound it round and round my head. After he finished the tie, he called me "Maharaja."
I responded, "If I'm the Maharaja, where is my dancing girl"? Without missing a beat, he brought his hand to his ear and mouth as if he was holding a phone. With intensity and great concentration, he spoke into the "phone" as follows:
"Mona (where did he come up with that name?), the Maharaja is waiting!"
"You're Where? ...... What? ...... When? ..... "
He brought the "phone" down from his ear, looked me right in the eye, and with great formality and resignation, he informed me:
"Sorry sir .... Mona is stuck in traffic."
His timing, improvisation and concentration were perfect ... Made all the more funny by the fact that we were in the middle of nowhere and the only traffic was mostly camel.
This memory still makes me laugh ... And my fantasy dancing girl will always be known in my dreams as "Mona" ... And always and to my everlasting regret "stuck in traffic."
Please share your laughable Indian moments....
"I am in love with India...where I find the heat and smells and oils and spices, and puffs of temple incense, and sweat and darkness, and dirt and lust and cruelty, and above all, things wonderful and fascinating innumerable." Kipling 1893
Last edited by Big Texan; Sep 11th, 2011 at 23:40..
#2 
Sep 11th, 2011, 05:54 Naan.tering Nabob
- Join Date:
- Sep 2005
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- Abode of Glooscap
- Posts:
- 9,970
Indians certainly do have a great sense of humor. Not so much in the joke telling per se but more in how they can understand &/or react to the funnier situations.
Our company driver could spot the funny & unusual a mile away. In fact when he was at the wheel we didn't even have to look at all because ...... if he spotted something he would always murmur that telltale phrase 'olllmygawd!' - which was the cue for everyone to look.
There was the morning where after just finishing breakfast & reading the morning TOI newspaper complete with article about a notorious & still 'at large' Delhi 'rock throwing lady' who carried a satchel full of baseball size rocks & would suddenly appear out of a bush & started pelting who/what was ever in her way.
We all were still laughing & half doubting this article /'story' .... as we rounded a South Ex corner in our white Hindustan Motors circa 1989 Contessa & our driver exclaimed ''olllmygawd!'
We all looked up in time to see an elderly lady jump out in front of the car, draw a rock out of her bag & pitch it towards the windshield. We all ducked as the rock sailed over the car. "whiskey lady is having very bad aim!" <headwobble> said our drive. ....... <roar of laughter>
Wait a minute, she's reloading - do something quick!! Honk, honk, honk.
Our driver had done what came naturally to an Indian driver - he blew the horn at her & she quickly took her leave.
Driver: 'Horn okay' <headwobble> < .... louder roar of laughter>
Our company driver could spot the funny & unusual a mile away. In fact when he was at the wheel we didn't even have to look at all because ...... if he spotted something he would always murmur that telltale phrase 'olllmygawd!' - which was the cue for everyone to look.
There was the morning where after just finishing breakfast & reading the morning TOI newspaper complete with article about a notorious & still 'at large' Delhi 'rock throwing lady' who carried a satchel full of baseball size rocks & would suddenly appear out of a bush & started pelting who/what was ever in her way.
We all were still laughing & half doubting this article /'story' .... as we rounded a South Ex corner in our white Hindustan Motors circa 1989 Contessa & our driver exclaimed ''olllmygawd!'
We all looked up in time to see an elderly lady jump out in front of the car, draw a rock out of her bag & pitch it towards the windshield. We all ducked as the rock sailed over the car. "whiskey lady is having very bad aim!" <headwobble> said our drive. ....... <roar of laughter>
Wait a minute, she's reloading - do something quick!! Honk, honk, honk.
Our driver had done what came naturally to an Indian driver - he blew the horn at her & she quickly took her leave.
Driver: 'Horn okay' <headwobble> < .... louder roar of laughter>
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. ~
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
Good one, PeakXV.
Reminds me of this experience: I was traveling with small group of friends somewhere in northern India- I forget the exact location. We stopped for lunch at one of the roadside "resorts" - you know the place ... Dimly lit gift shop, tables outside with stained tablecloths, overpriced, mediocre food, etc.
I finished eating before our driver and was waiting around near the entrance. I noticed a small room to the side that appeared to be a rest area for drivers, bus assistants, etc. Inside were about 15 men all squatting together, intently glued to a small black and white TV set. The program showing was one of the Indian "serials" (soap operas) in Hindi - the scene was an intense exchange between a man and woman filled with overdramatization and overacting.
I walked in and stood at the back of the crowd by the only other fellow standing. He sidled close to me and attempted in his ever so helpful Indian manner to interpret the scene for me as follows:
Camera shot of woman's angry face: He nods toward the screen and whispers, "Wife".
Next - camera shot of man's angry face: He nods toward the screen and whispers, "Husband".
Next - camera shot of both man and woman: He nods toward the screen and whispers, "T-e-n-s-i-o-n". (head wobble)
Those three words sum up the plots for about 95% of Indian serials, Mexican telenovelas, and American soap operas!
Reminds me of this experience: I was traveling with small group of friends somewhere in northern India- I forget the exact location. We stopped for lunch at one of the roadside "resorts" - you know the place ... Dimly lit gift shop, tables outside with stained tablecloths, overpriced, mediocre food, etc.
I finished eating before our driver and was waiting around near the entrance. I noticed a small room to the side that appeared to be a rest area for drivers, bus assistants, etc. Inside were about 15 men all squatting together, intently glued to a small black and white TV set. The program showing was one of the Indian "serials" (soap operas) in Hindi - the scene was an intense exchange between a man and woman filled with overdramatization and overacting.
I walked in and stood at the back of the crowd by the only other fellow standing. He sidled close to me and attempted in his ever so helpful Indian manner to interpret the scene for me as follows:
Camera shot of woman's angry face: He nods toward the screen and whispers, "Wife".
Next - camera shot of man's angry face: He nods toward the screen and whispers, "Husband".
Next - camera shot of both man and woman: He nods toward the screen and whispers, "T-e-n-s-i-o-n". (head wobble)
Those three words sum up the plots for about 95% of Indian serials, Mexican telenovelas, and American soap operas!
Last edited by Big Texan; Sep 11th, 2011 at 09:01..
#4
Sep 11th, 2011, 20:08 Naan.tering Nabob
- Join Date:
- Sep 2005
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- Abode of Glooscap
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- 9,970
There are many street people in Delhi. One day we were driving along at a good speed & this rather unkempt man ran straight in front of the Contessa & if not for a quick maneuver by our driver .... would have been struck dead.
'Sir, very bad - this is whiskey man drinking then playing in traffic.'
Everyday after that any unkempt street person that was acting unusual would be referred to a 'whiskey man' or 'whiskey lady'.
One Sunday morning we decided to take a trip over to the Chor Bazaar market behind the Red Fort. If you want to tour around Delhi footloose, fancy free & unobstructed by any traffic congestion - Sunday mornings at or around dawn is the best time to do this.
On the way to the Red Fort there is a large intersection roundabout that almost always requires a cop to signal & direct the traffic properly. As we approached this crossroad & in the early morning sun one could see a man spinning as on a swivel, waving one arm vigorously, while holding the other as a stop signal, then he would spin again & reverse the duties of his right & left hand.
''olllmygawd!' spouted our driver.
'What, what is it Shamoo?'
'Look', he said, pointing at the traffic cop.
'Come on, that's just a cop on duty,' I said - still half a sleep.
'No Sir - no traffic this morning - look we are the only car entering'.
Sure enough there was this man in some kind of uniform standing where traffic cops stand, spinning like a top & with whistle in mouth, seemingly directing traffic like there was rush hour style volume. As we drove past him, he seemed oblivious to our contessa, the only 'real' car & concern ....
'Whiskey man?' I query.
'Today, no whiskey sir - this is mental man only!
'Sir, very bad - this is whiskey man drinking then playing in traffic.'
Everyday after that any unkempt street person that was acting unusual would be referred to a 'whiskey man' or 'whiskey lady'.
One Sunday morning we decided to take a trip over to the Chor Bazaar market behind the Red Fort. If you want to tour around Delhi footloose, fancy free & unobstructed by any traffic congestion - Sunday mornings at or around dawn is the best time to do this.
On the way to the Red Fort there is a large intersection roundabout that almost always requires a cop to signal & direct the traffic properly. As we approached this crossroad & in the early morning sun one could see a man spinning as on a swivel, waving one arm vigorously, while holding the other as a stop signal, then he would spin again & reverse the duties of his right & left hand.
''olllmygawd!' spouted our driver.
'What, what is it Shamoo?'
'Look', he said, pointing at the traffic cop.
'Come on, that's just a cop on duty,' I said - still half a sleep.
'No Sir - no traffic this morning - look we are the only car entering'.
Sure enough there was this man in some kind of uniform standing where traffic cops stand, spinning like a top & with whistle in mouth, seemingly directing traffic like there was rush hour style volume. As we drove past him, he seemed oblivious to our contessa, the only 'real' car & concern ....
'Whiskey man?' I query.'Today, no whiskey sir - this is mental man only!
Last edited by PeakXV; Sep 11th, 2011 at 22:31..
One more ....
I visited a Hindu temple one morning. There was an old doorkeeper at the entrance. The other western visitors simply walked past him with no acknowledgment. I greeted him with "Ram! Ram!" and a "god bless you" in Hindi.
The old fellow looked shocked ... Studied me for a minute ... Then began yelling orders - grinning from ear to ear ... And speaking in Hindi in a very happy and excited manner. A boy came dragging a chair from another room and insisted that I sit down. Shortly, another boy came running with chai. All this time, the old fellow was beaming and speaking in an excited manner. There was an Indian tourist watching who I heard speak English. I quietly asked him, "What's he saying?
The observer replied, "He thinks that you were Indian and Hindu in your last life and that you have returned to India. He is welcoming you home!"
Suddenly, the old fellow stopped talking. His face fell - his smile vanished. Tears came to his eyes. He began mumbling, walked over to me, patted me on the head and then walked away.
I asked the tourist, "What's he saying now?"
The Indian tourist smiled and replied, "It has occured to him that you are not an Indian or Hindu in this life but an American ... you must have been very, very bad in your last life."
One minute, I was the prodigal son returning home and in the next ... a pariah!
I visited a Hindu temple one morning. There was an old doorkeeper at the entrance. The other western visitors simply walked past him with no acknowledgment. I greeted him with "Ram! Ram!" and a "god bless you" in Hindi.
The old fellow looked shocked ... Studied me for a minute ... Then began yelling orders - grinning from ear to ear ... And speaking in Hindi in a very happy and excited manner. A boy came dragging a chair from another room and insisted that I sit down. Shortly, another boy came running with chai. All this time, the old fellow was beaming and speaking in an excited manner. There was an Indian tourist watching who I heard speak English. I quietly asked him, "What's he saying?
The observer replied, "He thinks that you were Indian and Hindu in your last life and that you have returned to India. He is welcoming you home!"
Suddenly, the old fellow stopped talking. His face fell - his smile vanished. Tears came to his eyes. He began mumbling, walked over to me, patted me on the head and then walked away.
I asked the tourist, "What's he saying now?"
The Indian tourist smiled and replied, "It has occured to him that you are not an Indian or Hindu in this life but an American ... you must have been very, very bad in your last life."
One minute, I was the prodigal son returning home and in the next ... a pariah!
Last edited by Big Texan; Sep 11th, 2011 at 23:44..
Another ...
When I travel in India, I am constantly approached by children. Not begging, just very interested. Many times, I've had parents push their children over to me for my "blessing" - being big and white seems to have a mysterious power for some. I carry a few small, brightly colored rubber balls in my pocket to give to kids when it seems appropriate. (I order them online by the gross.) These are the very dense rubber kind that bounce wildly and high. Due to their erratic bounce, Indian kids call them "monkey balls".
There is a shop that I usually vist in Delhi. On one occasion, the owner's children were present, and I gave each of them a ball. A few years later, I returned to the shop with a group of friends. As we entered the shop crowded with tourists, the owner looked up and shouted:
"LOOK!! It's the man with MONKEY BALLS!!!"
Every eye in the shop immediately dropped to my crotch.
Propriety prevents me from sharing all the rude comments that my friends made to me and continue to make to this day. Forever, I will be the man "with monkey balls".
When I travel in India, I am constantly approached by children. Not begging, just very interested. Many times, I've had parents push their children over to me for my "blessing" - being big and white seems to have a mysterious power for some. I carry a few small, brightly colored rubber balls in my pocket to give to kids when it seems appropriate. (I order them online by the gross.) These are the very dense rubber kind that bounce wildly and high. Due to their erratic bounce, Indian kids call them "monkey balls".
There is a shop that I usually vist in Delhi. On one occasion, the owner's children were present, and I gave each of them a ball. A few years later, I returned to the shop with a group of friends. As we entered the shop crowded with tourists, the owner looked up and shouted:
"LOOK!! It's the man with MONKEY BALLS!!!"
Every eye in the shop immediately dropped to my crotch.
Propriety prevents me from sharing all the rude comments that my friends made to me and continue to make to this day. Forever, I will be the man "with monkey balls".
#7
Sep 14th, 2011, 05:06 Naan.tering Nabob
- Join Date:
- Sep 2005
- Location:
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I've already posted the following in another thread:
What I should add is it that we (the owner, boy & myself) all had a really good laugh about the misunderstanding immediately afterwards.
As a comparison in Canada the shop owner may have been embarrassed about it all ... or I might have gotten a bit angry with them for wasting my time or thought it a ploy to sell me something I didn't really want.
But when these things happen in India - there is almost always a timely bridging grin, smile, laugh or appropriate form of body language that immediately defuses any potential tension that might have somehow built up.
Unfortunately you probably have to 'be there' to 'get' this comic relief ..... but those that have experienced this specific form of 'Indian Humor' know very well what I am talking about.
Quote:
What I should add is it that we (the owner, boy & myself) all had a really good laugh about the misunderstanding immediately afterwards.
As a comparison in Canada the shop owner may have been embarrassed about it all ... or I might have gotten a bit angry with them for wasting my time or thought it a ploy to sell me something I didn't really want.
But when these things happen in India - there is almost always a timely bridging grin, smile, laugh or appropriate form of body language that immediately defuses any potential tension that might have somehow built up.
Unfortunately you probably have to 'be there' to 'get' this comic relief ..... but those that have experienced this specific form of 'Indian Humor' know very well what I am talking about.
Lousy Economy in the US..
I just read this in a newspaper over the weekend:
The TSA guy at a (US) airport said: Ten years ago Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were alive; now we have no Jobs, Hope or Cash!
The TSA guy at a (US) airport said: Ten years ago Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were alive; now we have no Jobs, Hope or Cash!
Quote:
this ones traveled all over the world several times.
Originally Posted by Boston123 
I just read this in a newspaper over the weekend:
The TSA guy at a (US) airport said: Ten years ago Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were alive; now we have no Jobs, Hope or Cash!
I just read this in a newspaper over the weekend:The TSA guy at a (US) airport said: Ten years ago Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were alive; now we have no Jobs, Hope or Cash!
change has had its 15 minutes.... now its time for turmoil....
PS: i maybe thejag! but call me Jag...
PS: i maybe thejag! but call me Jag...
[** Warning: Under 18, SSainiks, Tea Partiers and humor impaired do not click !!! XXX rated material below]
We have Vidur Kapur you have Yom Kippur
We have Vidur Kapur you have Yom Kippur
BigTexan,
Did you know that Mona's are always darlings in India and always come with grapes? So says the Loin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpiNG3PPpe0
Can someone please dig out a Mona Darling video? I don't seem to have much luck.
Did you know that Mona's are always darlings in India and always come with grapes? So says the Loin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpiNG3PPpe0
Can someone please dig out a Mona Darling video? I don't seem to have much luck.
Extract of a conversation on Omege!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: hello
You: hi
Stranger: m or f
You: f
Stranger: age]
You: 22
You: u
Stranger: 21
You: m?
Stranger: m
You: where from?
Stranger: fl usa
Stranger: and you
You: kent uk
Stranger: cool
Stranger: what your name
Stranger: my is adam
You: jannice
Stranger: is nice to-meet you jannice
You: same here Adam!
.
..
Stranger: tell me a lite about your self
You: what do you want to know
.
..
Stranger: what color eyes
You: blue
Stranger: like girls with blue eyes
Stranger: and what else tall or short
You: 5.7
Stranger: wow, you are tall
Stranger: well i am 6'2 tall and i have brown eyes and my hair is like a dirty blond
You: you are very tall indeed!
Stranger: i am not that tall
Stranger: to me
You: are you exaggerating?
You: If ever meet you , I'll come with a tape
Stranger: what you mean a tape
You: measuring tape!!!
Stranger: lol oh ok
Stranger: nice one
You: and leave immediately if you aren't 6.2
You: but if you are
Stranger: ok
You: I'll leave after talking to you for 15 minutes
Stranger: why 15 minutes only
You: because I don't like guys above 6 ft!!!
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: but i assure you i am 6'2 tall
You: I'm just pulling your leg because you seem to have long ones!
Stranger: well i have long leg i barely fit in my bed because how tall i am
Stranger: and i have a king size bed
You: what about the other leg?
Stranger: you will see someday if we meet
You: isn't it as long as the long one? Because you said "well i have long leg" and not long legs so I assumed that only one leg is long!!!
Stranger: both of them are long
Stranger: and they are the same
Stranger: they are the same length
You: glad to hear that
You: but how do you know for sure
You: have you ever measured them individually?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i have not
You: so you don't know for sure ,and therefore one leg could be longer than the other
Stranger: to me they are the same length
You: approximately but not exactly
Stranger: you know what i will measure my legs can you wait a minute
You: well you don't know how to!!!
Stranger: both of them are 3''6
You: no you cant measure them that way!
Stranger: than how is it
Stranger: are you there
You: to know if they are equal in length only and not their exact length, you have to measure each leg from your navel to the tip of the stretched toe
You: on each leg
You: its hard to do by yourself but
You: you can do it in 2 parts first toe to the knees and then knees to navel
Stranger: ok let me see
Stranger: from the toe to the knees is 2''3
Stranger: both
You: ok
Stranger: and the knees to the navel is 1''11
You: both sides
Stranger: yup
You: well I am sorry for your defect
Stranger: why you say that
You: because normally one leg is at-least a few centimeters shorter than the other , just check with any tailor
You: or doctor
You: usually the left leg is shorter
Stranger: well yes
Stranger: but its not much
You: but yours is exactly the same
You: which is a rare defect
Stranger: well then how are yours
You: my left is 2cm shorter than the right!
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: but still is not much
Stranger: 2 cm
You: yeah but this is normal unlike yours which is exactly the same!
You: but dont worry no will know of your defect except me
You: so don't feel bad about it
Stranger: well when i did measure it to me it seamed the same
Stranger: ok
You: maybe you didn't stretch both the toes the same distance!
You: sometimes that can happen
You: it can also happen if some people are more flexible on one side!
You: so don't let it bother you!
Stranger: ok i wont
Stranger: well i am having a great time with you
You: are you really
.
..
..
Stranger: hi
Stranger: hello
You: hi
Stranger: m or f
You: f
Stranger: age]
You: 22
You: u
Stranger: 21
You: m?
Stranger: m
You: where from?
Stranger: fl usa
Stranger: and you
You: kent uk
Stranger: cool
Stranger: what your name
Stranger: my is adam
You: jannice
Stranger: is nice to-meet you jannice
You: same here Adam!
.
..
Stranger: tell me a lite about your self
You: what do you want to know
.
..
Stranger: what color eyes
You: blue
Stranger: like girls with blue eyes
Stranger: and what else tall or short
You: 5.7
Stranger: wow, you are tall
Stranger: well i am 6'2 tall and i have brown eyes and my hair is like a dirty blond
You: you are very tall indeed!
Stranger: i am not that tall
Stranger: to me
You: are you exaggerating?
You: If ever meet you , I'll come with a tape
Stranger: what you mean a tape
You: measuring tape!!!
Stranger: lol oh ok
Stranger: nice one
You: and leave immediately if you aren't 6.2
You: but if you are
Stranger: ok
You: I'll leave after talking to you for 15 minutes
Stranger: why 15 minutes only
You: because I don't like guys above 6 ft!!!
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: but i assure you i am 6'2 tall
You: I'm just pulling your leg because you seem to have long ones!
Stranger: well i have long leg i barely fit in my bed because how tall i am
Stranger: and i have a king size bed
You: what about the other leg?
Stranger: you will see someday if we meet
You: isn't it as long as the long one? Because you said "well i have long leg" and not long legs so I assumed that only one leg is long!!!
Stranger: both of them are long
Stranger: and they are the same
Stranger: they are the same length
You: glad to hear that
You: but how do you know for sure
You: have you ever measured them individually?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i have not
You: so you don't know for sure ,and therefore one leg could be longer than the other
Stranger: to me they are the same length
You: approximately but not exactly
Stranger: you know what i will measure my legs can you wait a minute
You: well you don't know how to!!!
Stranger: both of them are 3''6
You: no you cant measure them that way!
Stranger: than how is it
Stranger: are you there
You: to know if they are equal in length only and not their exact length, you have to measure each leg from your navel to the tip of the stretched toe
You: on each leg
You: its hard to do by yourself but
You: you can do it in 2 parts first toe to the knees and then knees to navel
Stranger: ok let me see
Stranger: from the toe to the knees is 2''3
Stranger: both
You: ok
Stranger: and the knees to the navel is 1''11
You: both sides
Stranger: yup
You: well I am sorry for your defect
Stranger: why you say that
You: because normally one leg is at-least a few centimeters shorter than the other , just check with any tailor
You: or doctor
You: usually the left leg is shorter
Stranger: well yes
Stranger: but its not much
You: but yours is exactly the same
You: which is a rare defect
Stranger: well then how are yours
You: my left is 2cm shorter than the right!
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: but still is not much
Stranger: 2 cm
You: yeah but this is normal unlike yours which is exactly the same!
You: but dont worry no will know of your defect except me
You: so don't feel bad about it
Stranger: well when i did measure it to me it seamed the same
Stranger: ok
You: maybe you didn't stretch both the toes the same distance!
You: sometimes that can happen
You: it can also happen if some people are more flexible on one side!
You: so don't let it bother you!
Stranger: ok i wont
Stranger: well i am having a great time with you
You: are you really
.
..
..
Last edited by happyhippy; Sep 3rd, 2012 at 10:33..
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