Joke for the day!! (part deux)

These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi.com. These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail…

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- Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart… when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards Sowmya ~*~

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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Wut Homework?)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on …….. hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot (I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell…)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE

1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY

TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing{laughing})

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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik h ai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)

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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’?)

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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! )

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iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar. he was marred.

(No comments)

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily . i divorced my first husband. hischaractor is not good’. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted …

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

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Iam Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.

(Zebra..???)

One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee was sitting by the side of the ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, how about playing Weeweechu".

"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.

"Oh c'mon baby, lets you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's a perfect time," Huan Cho begged.

"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."

"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."

Jung Lee looked at Huan Cho and said, "Ok, we'll play Weeweechu".....

Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang..... "Weeweechu a melly Christmas, Weeweechu a melly Christmas, Weeweechu a melly Christmas, and a happy New Year."

This a smart one...worth forwarding endlessly... cheers.

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the
United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to
tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir
is named. When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he
thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath.' He removed his
clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got
out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had
stolen them.'

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What
are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then.'

The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made
that clear, I will begin my speech. 'And they say Kashmir belongs to
them

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.


The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.


The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. "





The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."


The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.. "


The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.


The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,


"Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

*********

The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made
that clear, I will begin my speech. 'And they say Kashmir belongs to
them[/QUOTE]
Nice one

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked
him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they
stood, he smugly told her to enter "p* nis "

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password."

She then almost died laughing at the computer's response:
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" PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ....!!!!!! "

nice guys !

I often find this joke in times newspaper :

A girl phoned me the other day & said ... " Come on over , there's nobody home". I went over. Nobody was home.

soooooooper

A couple was waiting for their food at a Chinese restaurant when an elderly waiter set chopsticks at their places. The woman made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.

"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."

The old waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."

DOUGH... the stuff...that buys me beer...

RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...

ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer,

FAR..... the distance to my beer

SO...... I think I'll have a beer...

LA...... La la la la la la beer

TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...

That will bring us back to...(Looks into an empty glass)

D'OH!

This was the BEST idea. I think this guy got it!

Dear Mr.President,
Patriotic retirement:

There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $1 million apiece severance with stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.
4--And they will go to holiday so there will be more spending .



Remember : Cheaper than giving away the taxpayers money to rich people!

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage,
when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's all sweaty and knackered. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this hole......."

good one jaws !