Joke for the day!! (part deux)

India-Pakistan talks begin.

....where Pakistan asks for more concrete evidence against Kasab!!

Saw this somewhere else: Microsoft plans to name its future OS as "Kasab". Why? 'Cos it never hangs!

This probably has been posted earlier-

At an Irish Wedding reception, the guy proposing the toast yelled "Would all the married men move closer to the person who has made their lives worth living?"

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she says 'she's fineeee', what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a Woman truly happy.'

The Lord thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'you want two lanes or four on that bridge' ;-)

Enjoy with speakers on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgADN...otation_844683

The Dot

FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP .

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.
Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition
or religion, but some one has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.
On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won...............
a corner shop,
a petrol station,
a curry house,
a taxi cab,
or the Star Prize, an old peoples home in the UK,comes with guaranteed entry Visa for the winner
plus family & friends, which is better than owning a gold mine.............

However If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones
and provide us with BT technical advice !!!!!!!

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

The Salesman of the Year

A keen immigrant Indian Marwadi lad applied for a salesman's job at London 's premier downtown department store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes sir, I was a salesman in India ", replied the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman looking dejected. "Only one sale?" blurted the boss.. "No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. "If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way "How much was the sale worth?" “300534.00 pounds" said the young Marwadi.

"What! How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sell him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he'd be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about 100 Pounds worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"

"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Sir, Your weekend is screwed anyway, you might as well go fishing."

Boss - "You sit in my chair.......".

Obama; Putin and Manmohan Singh went to see God.
Obama asked God "when will my country come out of recession".
"100 years," God said. Obama started weeping profusely. "I will not live to see that day".Putin asked God "When will my country become prosperous?" "50 years," came the reply.
Putin also started weeping profusely. "I will not live to see thatday"
Finally Manmohan Singhasked God, "When will my country become corruption-free?" .God started weeping profusely.
"I will not live to see that day"

He talked?? That's a bigger joke then!

.......and if he really talked, I have full doubt God cant here his voice alike 1.22 billion+ Indians (dont count 10 Janpath)

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his wet cock in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to..to..Cut it off, are you???!?" The husband said, with a horrible gleam of revenge in his eye,

"Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire!"

Ooooooooooops
An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he
tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks
are wrinkled from age

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells
him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest
shave he's had in years

But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed
that little ball

The barber replied:

"Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does"