Confessions of a Defiant Driver on Indian Roads...

Amyth

Racing against the time, looking at the watch, I smirked to myself in anticipation of emerging as a winner. Today is my day, I reassured myself! But not long, as I embarked on the car, there ended my hope of defeating time. I positioned myself on the driver’s seat, pulled out my larger than face, celebrity-style glares from the dashboard and gave a narcissistic look in the side view mirror- whatte gal, I smiled to myself! . All set to go ... and finally I tried to pull the seat belt from above my shoulder to strap myself for a safe drive; in other words a no-penalizing drive. I pulled the nylon strap again and again, but in vain. The belt was belting out more stubbornness than I could handle, and finally I lost the tug of war to a lifeless piece of Nylon... What a demeaning defeat!! The next immediate thought was how to reach on time without incriminating myself for beltless driving in Hyderabad traffic. For a moment righteousness preceded comfort and I thought of taking a Rick, but then satan chimed in, the Rick fare is at par with paying the challan (ticket) for beltless driving, that too, only if, God forbid I get caught...I convinced myself. Once the dilemma was over I started my journey without the belt to the office.
In spite of the pleasant weather and me being so accustomed to the polluted wind, let me share a wicked secret here: the whiff of Gas in air gives me a high , I pulled up the windows, hoping to hide from the peering eyes of the COPS. I had always wondered about the origin of that word as a child, until I saw the movie Police Academy and realized that it’s meant to be an acronym for Citizens On Patrol...but in prevailing conditions, the apt acronym would be Criminals On Patrol . As any other day, I put the Radio on and, the first line by the radio jockey freaked me out! The effervescent voice jingled, ‘Ladies and gentleman, the weather is beautiful, enjoy the music on FM, drive safely and don’t forget to fasten the seat belts and wear those helmets tight! I felt like I was caught red handed, guilt surrounded me! Was it a mere coincidence, is he prying, can he see me belt less, is he hired by the cops...lost in these baseless self inflicting thoughts I reached the first signal. Unlike my regular flamboyant driving style, where I would halt screeching at the zebra line on the fall of red signal, I found myself slowing down even before I could reach the crossing. It was a subconscious effort to hide myself in the smoking jungle of cars from the cops who, in a gang, were keeping a close eye on the passers by, and I closed my eyes for a second, just like the cat that closes her eyes believing no body is watching her drink the milk. Presto! The COP in front showed his hand, my heart beat stopped, with sweating palms just before I could pull in the car to a corner, the helmetless bloke behind me overtook me from the left and obeyed the cops order. Phew! I was relieved, but on the hind side the thought of being challaned continued to bug me, I kept peeping into neighboring cars to see if they had their seat belts on, or will I be alone if I was caught. Eye contact with any passer by made me uncomfortable like they were mocking and convicting me... embarrassed to the core I would start the futile exercise of pulling the seat belt again at every look...but in vain!! Albeit I reached office without getting caught but I continue to have a faint feeling that the COPS are following me with a paper and pen in hand, the fading Police Sirens are still echoing in my ears as I type this.... Maybe I should have taken the Rick! But hell... I saved the fare and reached on time!! Still never again!

Will you ?!!

__________________
Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to

shashank.aggarwal

Now...Thank god you didn't get a heart attack from the pressure..!!

__________________
Travelogue - Around India
Random Reviews

sudheer poppa

The tale of the word Cop - http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cop2.htm

__________________
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools - MLK

Pic Page 1
Pic Page 2
When my life changed over a week

karthik_mitta

Hey Amyth... you got to get home too

did u.. without being caught...

Well, come to think about it.. i drove for 3 years without a Seat belt in my car.. and in Hyderabad with no challans!!! Lucky me!

__________________
KM

In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds - Martin Luther King Jr.

roopesh_kohad

The only time I have been caught for traffic violation in Hyderabad is seat-belt. Sometimes I wonder, why are seat belts required when major thoroughfare are choc-o-bloc with traffic most of the time of the day. Even if you/somebody bangs, it will be mild

Only if cops could stop vehicles going on the wrong side, excessive honking, auto-wallahs clogging the road....

blackbird

I got the impression that bringing traffic to a permanent standstill was an official policy in Hyderabad, I kept seeing in bold letters on roadside walls:

FALLOW TRAFFIC RULES

Nick-H

That's a great post

On a more boring note (being the grumpy one) the purpose of a seat belt is not to prevent you being fined by the cops, it is to prevent you leaving the car via the windscreen (or, optionally, being impaled on the steering wheel. Having, of course, broken your legs on the way....

Bcak to the laughter: I love the idea of the fallow traffic!

__________________
.


Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

Amyth

You've shattered my childhood beliefs and put the COPS in the right light: Constables On Patrol?!! Nevertheless, thanks for enlightening me! Better Late Than Never!!

Yours Truly,
Citizen On Petrol!!

Well..that excitement was too much too handle, so I first went to the car clinic on the way back and I FALLOWED the traffic rules . And truely you've been lucky as things are no more same on hyderabad roads as they were a few months back. Rules are made to make money and not to be broken anymore !!

Yeah!! I am with you on safety Nick, but sometimes it beats me how can one leave the car via windscreen, breaking legs on the way at the tortoiselike speed of 20km per hr, with the bonnet kissing the bumper of car in front...

jyotirmoy

A few rules that we follow in Delhi:
Stop at a red light, look here & look there... no cop in sight? Jump the light.

Assume the driver of the car in front of you has fallen asleep at a red light. The moment the light turns green honk with all your might to wake him/her.

Become Americans while overtaking a car.

Allow your child to drive your car around so that your neighbours see how smart he is.

There are many more, Shashank may perhaps add.

karthik_mitta

jyotida.. that was a surprising addition from you!

shashank.aggarwal

Very true Jyoti Da...

And the most important funda..

If the other driver is going fast, you say he is stupid, will die soon.

If the other driver is honking, then you will have a problem that he is honking too much.

If he doesn't honk, then you will say atleast he should honk.

If he is slow, what the hell, is he driving a automobile or a bullock cart.

All in All, the other driver is never right !!

Amyth

And if you're caught be ready to make your pocket light..
Or else claim to know the MLA and give the COPs a fright !!

Good one Jyotida!!

Shashank...Is that experience speaking?!! Neat conclusions!!

jyotirmoy

If you can pull it off your chances are bright...

These days a challan comes by post and as per the recent court order a surcharge of Rs.500 is added to your Rs.100 fine for jumping traffic signal. Not a big deal for many Delhites.
Some time back when yo went to deposit your fine you were made to watch an hour long video on safe driving. That was hell of a deterent. Now this show has been discontinued.