Safety for Women??

mercedes10

OK, I just made the mistake of reading through lots of older threads (including the one on warnings about the Holi festival and other threads that that one links to) and am now getting worried. They seem to imply that harrassment, molestation etc. of women are commonplace and one says that women shouldn't walk through Paharganj alone. I am travelling with another female friend, and my understanding was that Paharganj was one of the main areas where travellers congregate, plus where there are many shops, markets etc. (or am I wrong?). Is it going to be unsafe for us to be there? Sometimes I think ignorance would be bliss - the more I read the more anxious I seem to get! Is Delhi particularly unsafe for women? (or is it just like any other big city? - usual precautions needed etc.?).

Aaargh! I think I'm already beginning to get an idea of how I might feel when I actually reach India! My emotions are so contradictory - elated one minute, terrified the next - excited at going, then wondering whether I'll live to regret it! Argh!

Someone please put my mind at ease!! For every good thing I hear/read there also seems to be a bad thing!!

aghori

I stayed in Paharganj for 2 months last year, i didn't have bad experiences. Of course, there were guys who were trying to speak with me, especially the ones from Kasmir, so you have to get used to that and to learn to ignore them. Sometimes it is even necessary to be impolite, if there are too annoying.
On religion festivals i prefer to stay inside either in my friends' house or in ashram/meditation center. It is true that western female is particularly attractive there, and if there is a crowd of men you can be touched.
However i wouldn't say that it is a dangerous country for a woman alone, only i wouldn't recommend to walk after dark, unless in tourist place with many foreigners, like Cliff in Varkala, Kerala.
Also add to encourage you, at first time I went to India when I was 19 for 3 months alone, then next year for 9 months again with no company. There were some not very nice experiences like men asking for one-night stand, but nothing that would make me not want to be back there.

mercedes10

Thanks Aghori! :-)

cyberhippie

You'll feel safer in the main bazaar paharganj than you would in most Scottish town centres!!
Many of the negative comments you see about Paharganj and womens safety in general, are people veering on the side of caution!!
The comments are to be heeded but don't apply them too literally.
I've said this before but during trips to India I've seen so many women sailing through, what would be regarded as foolhardy situations anywhere else in the world.
Walking alone on train station carparks in the wee hours of the morning, taking taxis alone to another part of the city, walking home along a deserted beach, up a mountain track, sitting on railway platforms for a late night connection, going for evening strolls with a local man.
All these situations I see everyday in India and the women involved come out of these situations unscathed.
This rather suggest to me that far from being the preditory world that some women would have you believing in, India is actually a reasonably safe country to travel in for both women and men!!!

The stares and the stupid comments are not to be lumped in with actuall bodily harm, anyway you'll soon find your own way to ignore the testosterone driven youth of India.

Have fun, take the same precautions you would anywhere else in the world and you will be just fine!!!!

Catz

I was in Paharganj last March with another female friend. We experienced some molestation, even through we weared long skirts and long cotton tops. We also did not went out at night, we experiened that in the afternoon.
These situations did not seemed dangerous, but it was really unpleasant.
Delhi seems to be a bit more dangerous for women travelling alone than other indian citys and I also felt more unsafe there than in Mumbai or Calcutta.

Australian woman tourist killed in Delhi

Bryan

Being a guy I respect that I speak from a different perspective and what I think may seem minor may be seen as serious for a woman

Anyway ...I would agree with hippie
India is a very safe country overall
The risk of physical violence is minimal if at all

Some bad things do happen ...but these are very very rare ...100 times rarer than in the West

You'll more than likely get groped ...more a pinch on the bum or a hand in the crowd reaching to touch your breast but little more judging by my partner's experiences

But she says it never felt threatening more really irritating and annoying if that makes sense

Also when she caught the culprit she made sure the world knew he was a lowlife which led to him getting extremly embarrassed and perhaps making him think about doing it again

It doesn't seem to make any difference what your wear

I would say its bravado amongst the guys and they try to dare eachother into doing it ...rather than having any malice or intention to physically harm

However ...Dont feel worried ...Its a beautiful safe country and these minor unpleasntries are extremly rare but people love to hear a horror story so perhaps thats why the stroies become blown up out of all proportion

Hope this helps
Bryan

__________________
Then let us pray that come it may
(As come it will for a' that),
That Sense and Worth o'er a' the earth,
Shall bear the gree an a' that.
For a' that, an a' that,
It's coming yet for a' that,
That man to man, the world, o'er
Shall brithers be for a' that.
- Burns

volga_volga

I don't claim to be an authority on these matters, but I found that the statement above is an indisputable fact pertinent to life in general.

[trvl_in how does that sound? ]

just go and face it.

i agree with cyberhippy that at least you won't have to face drunk Scottish/English/French/Dutch (?) teenagers.

mercedes10

Thanks everyone!! :-)

indiadreamn

Just be aware of whats going on around you. While I haven't been to India, I have been to other places where the same things happen. Occasionally, well more like rarely, the men trying to grope you ar ridiculously obvious. Infact, one time in Kuala Lumpur, a guy tried to grope me down under, but instead of just going for it, he made a long whooping noise and raised his hand over his head slowly before going for it. I caught him before he got anywhere and yelled at him, but I had to laugh since it was such a lame attempt

LuAnnandJawahar

Indian men are often very agressive with foreign women, but it rarely escalates to more than an annoyance. Delhi, Jaipur, Agra are the worst in our opinion. But many women travel with no such experience (it isn't related to your age or hair color by the way) so don't overreact to all the stories people love to tell.

We do want to comment on Cyberhippie's paragraph, though we're sure he just means to be reassuring.......
Walking alone anyplace in the wee hours of the morning is definitely not not NOT a good idea: beach, carpark, mountain trail or city street. You would be fine however to wait on a platform for a late night connection, just be sure you sit near someplace where there is activity. And if you chance an evening stroll with a local man that you just met--well at least make him come to the lobby to meet you and introduce him to the desk clerk. If he's not willing to meet you there, then he's up to no good.

__________________
Reject violence.

cyberhippie

Hi NIT,
My comments were meant to illustrate that some women do this, despite warnings and common sense!
Of course some of the scenarios are unavoidable if you arrive late in a strange town.
That they come out of these situations unscathed is a testament to how safe India really is, even for the foolhardy.
None of these things are to be reccomended, as I said use your common sense!

wonderwomanusa

I seldom feel unsafe in India, but in younger days was harrassed so often that you could almost say "all the time" -- except in the HP mountains... but I do feel safer in some places than in others!

For example, I'll walk alone at night in Calcutta, but won't do so in Delhi.

There are things you have to learn -- and some of them you might have already learned from your mother: keep your nails long so if someone grabs you, you can do some damage. Shout "pervert" and run to the nearest women for sympathy and protection. Don't take candy (or tea, or sodapop) from strangers, especially the seatmate on a bus trip. Don't go off alone with strange men.

A story in one of the Indian papers while I was there last autumn indicated that of the arrested molesters of women, a large percentage were well-educated. It's not the village men you have to worry about -- it's the students.

India has as many contradictions as you are now feeling... so yes, somewhere within yourself you have to decide if/when to go -- or, well, you know...

__________________
The map is not the territory. --Alfred Korzybski

pooch

mala, Indian nightclubs aren't always safe. I've seen quite a bit. Safest is just avoid groups of young men, you entertain one and all his mates will end up on the floor with you and you know what happens.

maree

Did anyone ever see that episode of "The Amazing Race" set in Mumbai where all the women were freaking out about being groped on the train? Solution: there are women's compartments on suburban trains... no men allowed.

In long-distance trains the end compartments in ordinary Sleeper Class can usually be reserved as 'Ladies Compartments' (although this doesn't always work out and I've been the only female surrounded by about 12 staring men). I agree with previous posters.... it's usually the young, single men that are the problem. If you really don't feel comfotable then you can always go and sit in another compartment where there are some women/families... you can sit wherever you like during the day. If you asked the conductor you could probably even arrange to swap compartments for the night... or just explain to the nice family you are sitting with and they'll probably get their son to take your other berth.

Off the train... always look like you know where you are going even when you don't!! An air of purpose and confidence is often all that's required... when you look like you might fall apart then that is probably when you are at your most vulnerable.

aghori

About trains, I heard only one bad story and it happened in 1st class, the woman started to speak with a guy who had a seat above her, so after some time he started to let himself too much with her.
Mostly I traveled by 3 Sleeper, there are always women, families, kids, old people, so it really seems to be fine. Only there can be always someone who can come to sit at your feet, who travel on a short distance. On more expensive classes it seems that there are more men in 20s-30s and not many families.