Retaliating?

welsh_exile · Oct 4th, 2009, 04:07

Hi all,

I am travelling to India in December and really can't wait!!

How do you deal with being groped? When it happens at home the guy usually gets a right hook, but I got in lots of trouble when I done that to a hand friendly Emirati in Dubai. I don't want to get in trouble in India, so whats an acceptable way to deal with groping?

Exiled

wonderwomanusa · Oct 4th, 2009, 06:24

In my younger days, I used to grow my nails very long and keep them very sharp. If anyone grabbed me, I grabbed their forearm and dug my nails in, so they had to pull their arm away! I left scars, and didn't mind it a bit.

By the way, that sort of treatment mostly happened in Meshed (Iran) and in the area around Lahore in Pakistan. The Indians are pussycats next to those guys.

Screaming works in India. As does (if you can be quick) tearing off your sandal and slugging them with it -- preferably in the face.

Wearing Indian clothing (salwar kameez) or not-too-revealing Western clothes helps a great deal, as does not walking about alone in dicey neighborhoods late at night.

Sama · Oct 4th, 2009, 06:33

wonderwoman is right. screaming works wonders and don't be afraid to hit a man. I screamed like a madwoman when a man grabbed my arm and spun me around in the middle of the street during my first trip.

and if you do something like that, i.e., make a scene, people will usually tell the guy to back off, at least that's what happened with me.

when I screamed and raised my fist I am sure I looked like my avatar to him....

indiaddict · Oct 4th, 2009, 07:48

I really chuckled at the right hook thing. You must be either very brave or quite mad - Though I consider myself quite courageous (one day I will get into trouble!) I would never try the right hook thing on an Arab. You know this very strange thing called honour - how dare you challenge male supremacy??! Glad you eventually got out of it all right, at least all right enough to travel to India.

Please no right hook thing in India - it is simply not necessary. It is totally unacceptable for any male to touch you if you don't want it. If you want it, it would be totally unacceptable to do it in public the touchy feely thing. Just to explain the cultural dimension.

You will hardly ever be alone in India, so you just get verbal and very loudly at that. Shouting at the top of your voice: "Don't you touch me!" will do nicely. You will totally embarrass the guy as any bystanders will be on your side. No need even for: "f*** off" as this might rather offend bystanders (that's what I think at least) I am really curious what our Indian friends in this forum will advise.

In any case I don't think there is any reason to worry. I have travelled to India countless times during the past 25 years. I carry myself confidently (no doubt you do too, right hook, etc

) I don't go around half naked and I have always been treated with utmost respect. Being blond I never lacked admirers, but again I have always been treated with respect.

I only remember very few incidents when it got physical: one in Delhi, I was there when Indira Gandhi was murdered, quite horrific with the ensuing violence until the military took over, when a mob of youths came running in my direction and one touched my chest, this was quite outrageous, but it only happened because these guys were completely out of control.

Then I remember one incident late at night close to the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai when I got a very indecent proposal whispered in my ear. So I shouted What??? Piss off!! And at such a volume that I even felt sorry for the guy. He just melted away in the dark.

Very recently I walked during daylight in South Mumbai and two boys came in my direction, one approx 12 years old, the other one older approx 16 or so.
The younger one in passing touched my arm and as this is just not done, I hissed at him, Stop that! The older one slapped his friend or brother and then turned to me and apologised! I was quite impressed.

I find India a fantastic and safe country to travel in, so relax and enjoy.

namaste_cat · Oct 4th, 2009, 11:52

Exiled - I agree with advice given so far, and raising voice often gets the job done with no need for obscenities. I often get so mad, I just start swinging with my handbag or any object in my hand because just shouting isn't enough to mollify my outrage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sama

when I screamed and raised my fist I am sure I looked like my avatar to him....

Wouldn't it be great if all women did that! I'd love to look like your avatar, Sama

Great idea on the nails, WWUSA. I wear mine short, but my daughter is all into long nails, so she'll love it if I tell her to leave some scratches on bad guys

Nick-H · Oct 4th, 2009, 15:26

The right hook will do very nicely.

But beware that, notwithstanding the undoubted wrongs of the situation, he may have a large group of friends nearby that unhesitatingly accept his "what me? I never did anything!" statement.

On the other hand, as you stand there, towering above him as he lies flat on the ground, with your foot on his chest, you may just find yourself the new leader of a large gang

!

One of the nasty aspects is that these guys are often neither subtle or gentle. My wife told me that, one time, her daughter had bruised and painful breasts for many days after such an encounter. Rather stressing the assault in sexual assault. Like the elbow-in-the-breast thing, I don't understand how these guys get any thrill from it. I guess it is just the nasty little boy thing.

Exiled, you may well travel in India and never need any of this conversation. For the most part, you can expect that these thugs will be too busy getting jammed up close to local women on the buses --- but never, never give anyone the vaguest idea that his national stereotype of "western women" just might be true.

As to the stupidity of the stereotype, hey, back in 1960 British schoolboys thought all Scandanavian women were porn stars

. Not that we'd ever met any. Or even, for the most part, even seen any porn!

dillichaat · Oct 4th, 2009, 19:54

The right hook thing works miracles, so does a knee sharply brought up against strategic organs. Just make sure there's no 10 friends around (I had this happen when I struck a guy down who had groped my wife, we had to run but boy, it felt sweet when I drove my fist in his plexus and saw the bastard go down like if he'd been pole-axed. Hmm, probably a primitive male reflex but anyway, revenge really is sweet, also according to my wife.

If it were up to me, I'd make a law that foresees disembolwelment on the spot for those touchy-feelie guys.

Oct 4th, 2009, 04:07	#1
welsh_exile Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Here and there Posts: 5	Retaliating? Hi all, I am travelling to India in December and really can't wait!! How do you deal with being groped? When it happens at home the guy usually gets a right hook, but I got in lots of trouble when I done that to a hand friendly Emirati in Dubai. I don't want to get in trouble in India, so whats an acceptable way to deal with groping? Exiled

Oct 4th, 2009, 06:24	#2
wonderwomanusa Maha Guru Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northern California Posts: 4,261	In my younger days, I used to grow my nails very long and keep them very sharp. If anyone grabbed me, I grabbed their forearm and dug my nails in, so they had to pull their arm away! I left scars, and didn't mind it a bit. By the way, that sort of treatment mostly happened in Meshed (Iran) and in the area around Lahore in Pakistan. The Indians are pussycats next to those guys. Screaming works in India. As does (if you can be quick) tearing off your sandal and slugging them with it -- preferably in the face. Wearing Indian clothing (salwar kameez) or not-too-revealing Western clothes helps a great deal, as does not walking about alone in dicey neighborhoods late at night. __________________ The map is not the territory. --Alfred Korzybski

Oct 4th, 2009, 06:33	#3
Sama a pain in the asana Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: the India inside my heart Posts: 6,429	wonderwoman is right. screaming works wonders and don't be afraid to hit a man. I screamed like a madwoman when a man grabbed my arm and spun me around in the middle of the street during my first trip. and if you do something like that, i.e., make a scene, people will usually tell the guy to back off, at least that's what happened with me. when I screamed and raised my fist I am sure I looked like my avatar to him.... __________________ *MY INDIA, 2005-2008* "Once you have felt the Indian dust, you will never be free of it." (Rumer Godden, 1975)

Oct 4th, 2009, 19:54	#7
dillichaat Professional cynic Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: जोर बाग़,New Delhi Posts: 431	The right hook thing works miracles, so does a knee sharply brought up against strategic organs. Just make sure there's no 10 friends around (I had this happen when I struck a guy down who had groped my wife, we had to run but boy, it felt sweet when I drove my fist in his plexus and saw the bastard go down like if he'd been pole-axed. Hmm, probably a primitive male reflex but anyway, revenge really is sweet, also according to my wife. If it were up to me, I'd make a law that foresees disembolwelment on the spot for those touchy-feelie guys. __________________ When the wise man points out the black hole, the fool looks at the finger.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Oct 4th, 2009, 07:48	#4
indiaddict Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: London Posts: 109	I really chuckled at the right hook thing. You must be either very brave or quite mad - Though I consider myself quite courageous (one day I will get into trouble!) I would never try the right hook thing on an Arab. You know this very strange thing called honour - how dare you challenge male supremacy??! Glad you eventually got out of it all right, at least all right enough to travel to India. Please no right hook thing in India - it is simply not necessary. It is totally unacceptable for any male to touch you if you don't want it. If you want it, it would be totally unacceptable to do it in public the touchy feely thing. Just to explain the cultural dimension. You will hardly ever be alone in India, so you just get verbal and very loudly at that. Shouting at the top of your voice: "Don't you touch me!" will do nicely. You will totally embarrass the guy as any bystanders will be on your side. No need even for: "f*** off" as this might rather offend bystanders (that's what I think at least) I am really curious what our Indian friends in this forum will advise. In any case I don't think there is any reason to worry. I have travelled to India countless times during the past 25 years. I carry myself confidently (no doubt you do too, right hook, etc ) I don't go around half naked and I have always been treated with utmost respect. Being blond I never lacked admirers, but again I have always been treated with respect. I only remember very few incidents when it got physical: one in Delhi, I was there when Indira Gandhi was murdered, quite horrific with the ensuing violence until the military took over, when a mob of youths came running in my direction and one touched my chest, this was quite outrageous, but it only happened because these guys were completely out of control. Then I remember one incident late at night close to the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai when I got a very indecent proposal whispered in my ear. So I shouted What??? Piss off!! And at such a volume that I even felt sorry for the guy. He just melted away in the dark. Very recently I walked during daylight in South Mumbai and two boys came in my direction, one approx 12 years old, the other one older approx 16 or so. The younger one in passing touched my arm and as this is just not done, I hissed at him, Stop that! The older one slapped his friend or brother and then turned to me and apologised! I was quite impressed. I find India a fantastic and safe country to travel in, so relax and enjoy.

Oct 4th, 2009, 15:26	#6
Nick-H This is just a cameo appearance Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 36,209	The right hook will do very nicely. But beware that, notwithstanding the undoubted wrongs of the situation, he may have a large group of friends nearby that unhesitatingly accept his "what me? I never did anything!" statement. On the other hand, as you stand there, towering above him as he lies flat on the ground, with your foot on his chest, you may just find yourself the new leader of a large gang ! One of the nasty aspects is that these guys are often neither subtle or gentle. My wife told me that, one time, her daughter had bruised and painful breasts for many days after such an encounter. Rather stressing the assault in sexual assault. Like the elbow-in-the-breast thing, I don't understand how these guys get any thrill from it. I guess it is just the nasty little boy thing. Exiled, you may well travel in India and never need any of this conversation. For the most part, you can expect that these thugs will be too busy getting jammed up close to local women on the buses --- but never, never give anyone the vaguest idea that his national stereotype of "western women" just might be true. As to the stupidity of the stereotype, hey, back in 1960 British schoolboys thought all Scandanavian women were porn stars . Not that we'd ever met any. Or even, for the most part, even seen any porn!