Living in India and having a baby

Brigit

Ok so I've been living in India for some time now, I thought I'd got quite used to it, me and hubby are happy and business is getting going so when I was home in England in the summer I did away with my contraception.
So now I'm pregnant! very happy and excited, but suddenly not coping so well with the India ness of everything. I've always planned to go home to england to have the baby, NHS and my Dr mother, and dr I can trust. I've had some bad excperiance with Indian Drs and so find it hard to trust them.
One of the problems is I really don't want to tell my mother because she will be so excited and it's still very early days, so anything could happen and also I want to keep the excitement for me for a while.
So I'm feeling all confused and not shore what to do, My husband has talked to one of his sisters and shes given me some advice but she doesn't know any good hospitals in Ajmer (we are in Pushkar) and I need to make shore that I do the test that they would in england so the don't get confused when I get back. And I'm also not getting all the simple advice from her as its over the phone and translated.
So I was wondering if any one had any kind of advice for helping me get back to cool with India and how to manage pregnancy in India.
Sorry for the hugeness of this post and thank you so much for any help.

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brownboy66

First off - congrats! Wonderful news - store up on sleep, meeting with friends, eating out, in short - all the stuff you like doing now in your spare time because when the baby comes along - you'll wonder what you use to do with all the spare time you had!

Exciting and scary stuff all at the same time - and very hard to give practical advice since everyone's experience will be different. It may help to divide things up a bit.

1) You'll get lots of advice! At the end of the day - its up to you and your husband. Everyone else is a spectator (so is hubby when it comes to the birth). Sometimes a firm "thank you but no" is very necessary. Never lose sight of the fact that you are the one in control.
2) Families. Some couples like to have family around - others prefer to keep them far away. In your case its complicated by whether or not you stay here or go to England. For my wife and I - we had family living near us for our 2nd and 3rd child, but not the first. In all cases - we kept family away for about 2 weeks (so we would have time with baby for ourselves) - and then only let the mothers stay with us for a couple of weeks each. Again - something for you and your husband to decide.
3) Familiar surroundings. This is an important one. Going through the whole pregnancy/ birth process is full of so many new things that trying to cope with that while in unfamiliar surroundings may seem like a bit too much. Your judgement call on that one.
4) Medical system. Can't comment on this one. Undoubtedly there will be an IMer that went through the process here in India. My impression is that like most countries - you have to find the person/ service that suits you and you can trust. Also - if any country in the world is going to be expert at delivering children - it would be India.

Anyway - I'm sure the advice will come thick and fast (even from the guys)

congats again.

Brigit

brownboy thanks for your help and congratulations.
I am being a bit silly really but I have been ill here and have the doctors forget to check for some of the likely things and therefore been sick longer and harder. So now I've probably got a bit paranoid.
Really its just the first two trimesters that are the problem, after that 'm back in england to the best midwife in the world. This issue is what I have to do before then.

mani

CONGRATULATIONS

The first thing is to speak to your neighbours, friends in Pushkar & ajmer and locate a good gynecologist consultant. I had a look on the internet and found mittal hospital at Ajmer which seems to have some good doctors.

During your first visit to your doc in India clarify that while you will be under their care for the first & second trimester, you intend to go back to england for the birth and you would like them to make sure that all the tests are done accordingly.

Ask them when they would schedule the various test - make a list and mail it to your mother. she can confirm that it is all in line and if any other test need to be done or innoculations need to be take.

Most importantly keep your mind peaceful and take your multi vitamins, calcium and folic acid supplements.

My sister was in China for the first two trimesters and then came to India to deliver.

Wishing you a peaceful time

Mani

capt_mahajan

Pls look also at the bottom of this thread, under 'Similar Threads'.. some promising looking threads.

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Indojingai

Is checking with Doctors in private clinics in big cities is not an option? Cant say how well they compare with the NHS but they get a lot of foreign clients... or so I read in newspapers.

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capt_mahajan

Agree with Indojingai. If the OP is really that worried, perhaps a trip to Jaipur or even Delhi?

jaz

Lived in Delhi for 1 year and l can definitely recommedn Max Hospital in Saket. Its pretty new, spotlessly clean (unlike the NHS) and the Doctors are very professional. My sister has Type 1 diabetes and was there regularly, she had one hour consultations with her doctor and she was very thorough. Gave her lots of great advice and she used to type everything out for her. Now shes back in The UK and shes lucky to get 5 mintues of her doctors attention and even then shes clock watching and not paying attention. Also an American lady l knew at the college delivered her baby girl at the hospital and was very happy with the experience. I think in India you get some of the very best medical treatment and doctors BUT also some of the most shady and unprofessional, you just need to ask around

http://www.maxhealthcare.in/corporate/index.asp

brownboy66

no your not being silly at all. Its a whole new experience - and there are definitely no manuals or prior knowledge to rely on - so go ahead and feel anyway you want.

Looks like plenty of good suggestions have come in. Like most things - find someone you can rely on and trust (Doctor) - and that will go a long way towards putting your mind at ease. The suggestion about using one the major city hospitals/ clinics is good as well. We've used Max in Delhi for a few children related ailments - and it was great. Saw a GP within 20 minutes and then a specialist 15 minutes after that! Very quick and professional.

senhyd

Congrats!! Better move to New Delhi

Brigit

Sorry for not replying to this post but I didn't know anyone more had posted to it, I didn't get any emails like I usually do, and I've fallen into the unmotivated pit of the 1st trimester.
I have gone to Mital hospital that I'm shore logically is as good or better than an NHS hospital.
The idea of going to Delhi or even Jaipur is not some thing that appeals to me, just think if I were to have a problem I would be 8hrs by a fast train that runs once a day from a town 30 mins from me from my doctor! how scary!
I know that its perfectly possible I'm getting the best care at the Mital hospital. Its my emotions that can't understand this. I was more asking if anyone had any advice of how to calm down and stop being so untrusting of the Indian medical profession.

capt_mahajan

I could tell you that thousands of women give birth in India every day.

But when my first child was to be born, I vetoed the closeby perfectly good Nursing Home and opted for a 'quite closeby' very fancy hospital in Mumbai, on the grounds that emergency facilities would be better.

Good Indian doctors are good. I would suggest go to a recommended good doctor wherever, the hospital is secondary.

Maybe Jaipur/Delhi is unneccessary. Keep in mind though, that those are better options in case you are not satisfied or at ease with the local doc, or need medical attention out of the ordinary.

brownboy66

I don't know that its solely an Indian medical profession thing as most prospective mothers would be feeling the same regardless of where they are. Even in the most advanced of medical systems - being a mother for the first time is very scary. Add to that the hormone cocktail that develops during pregnancy - no one would expect you to be calm.

Think about it - most major moves in your life (marriage, getting a degree, new job, etc) can be fairly abstract and are recoverable. Having a baby is probably the first instance for most people of being put into a life protecting role - and its not even your own life at that. So yes - people do worry. Having said that - there a re billions of normal/ well adjusted/ average people walking around the plant - so their parents obviously did something right!

How to deal with the emotion?

1) As capt said - get a good doctor you can trust. That's the big one as it will go along way to making you feel more prepared.
2) rely on family. Use them, exploit them - they wont refuse a pregnant lady (live it up a little),
3) Read up. There is a ton of literature out there so get some knowledge. Some of your concern will be due to the fact you don't know the question (let alone the answer). Get books from home - use the internet. Be warned - sometimes there too much literature. Also its a guidebook not a manual. Thinks aren't expected to go by the book...so to speak.
4) Anyone nearby who has recently had a baby you can talk too?

btw - isn't your mother due sometime soon? I'm sure that will help alleviate a lot of concern.

good luck.