1975-76 in Goa... Help me find my father

camelgirl

This is getting more and more amazing! Maybe Goa Deepas connections can help Dad Hunter!

enfieldbaba

yes, lets hope some good news turns up, am also getting in touch with some old goa people from that time who have been living in hawaii for years, lets hope..

Goa Deepa

Hey I posted that bit about contacting Gil before I read the thread! Of course loadsa people mentioned him and I read you actually talked to him...I thought I remembered Gil talking about Dale.

I wouldn't worry too much about what certain people say about him being a bad sort. People change and in those days alot of people did things they are not necessarily proud about to survive!

Think positive, reality is a creation of the mind

Judi

Thanks for keeping us up-to-date DH - and well done for not being put off by old stories. You are quite right ..... your dad is your dad, no matter what he might have done in the best, and I wish you the best of luck in finding him.

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It is better to light a candle than complain about the darkness.

kristinm

Wow - all these fatherless people as the washup of the age of free love. I'm not being at all judgemental, its just interesting to see the results of a social experiment all these years on....the next generation.

Sounds like in both your cases you may be better off meeting these particular fathers once you are adults, you might have been a lot more screwed up if they had been 'real dads'. Goa Deepa - did you find any of your half brothers and sisters along the way? Dad Hunter - there are a few of those out there for you to find too... might be even more rewarding to find them.???

And by the way - hats off to your mums both of you who were the ones who got down to it and made a great job of raising their kids. It must have been pretty tough back then to arrive back in New Zealand or Birmingham (both pretty conservative places) pregnant or with a child and make a go of it. It's always the woman left holding the baby!

Goa Deepa

Ha ha ha if only things were that simple! Yes I did find I have two half brothers and a half sister, all younger than me. Unfortunately we don't have much contact at all. There are blessings and curses to meeting long lost family as an adult...One amazing bit was looking at pictures of my sister and really not knowing whether it was me in the picture years before or her! Fantastic to see others who resemble yourself!

Incidentally my dad actully wanted my mum to go back to Birmingham, marry her and have me grow up there but my mum was way too in love with India and decided to go it alone, so her's was a decision, rather than being "left holding the baby".

kristinm

She sounds amazing - I guess she had her reasons that were more than just being in India, and sounds like she made the right choice in hindsight - you sound pretty well adjusted!.... Having one great parent is often better than having two unhappy ones. When did you leave India? Did you go to school there or did she eventually move back to sunny England? What shock that would have been. My partner met his father when he was 18 after no contact (he left when he was 4) and he had half and step siblings, but they never wanted to 'know' the older lost brother, and his wife was pretty hostile - kind of sad as my son has no uncles aunties or cousins on that side... but that's life eh?

indiadreamer

An amazing thread. Good luck to you DH and I offer my admiration for the many IMers who have helped with DH's search. Kinda wish I had seen Goa in those old days.

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drmr

Dad Hunter

Yip...Thanx...and extra special thanx to those contributing to painting the picture for me. Its been very exciting for me not knowing anything about my Dad until now (6mths lata) where I have had an influx of info. I sometimes think the chase is going to be the most exciting part...then I'll meet him perhaps and it will all be a little bit different. All good tho...I have always been able to make the most and best of any situation so I await the possible future. Talk again soon...DH

anjuna mark

I was born in Goa in '72

Deepa; are you the daughter of Linda?

Goa Deepa

Hi Mark, yeah that's me!

Goa Deepa

Hey Kristin, yeah my life has ben pretty amazing! I lived in India til I was 8 then used to go back every season so actually lived there for a total of 15 years...unfortunately I haven't been back in ten years! I sorely miss it but am busy at university getting a Biomedical Sciences degree so that I can do good things!

I can imagine how you feel about your son not having aunties and uncles on that side...I would have the same problem (possibly?) if I had a kid. All I know is whether you grew up with them or never really knew them, families are very complicated!

I do wish Dad Hunter all the luck in the world on a happy conclusion to his search.

anjuna mark

I knew you and your mother when you were a baby.
I have a nice photo of you both from around '73 if you want it.
regards, Mark

Goa Deepa

Hey Mark, yeah I'd love any old pics you've got...I tried to send you a personal message but couldn't see the link. Send me a message so I can give you my email address. Cheers. PS, you're not Luke's brother are you? I think we must have met in later years as well...

kristinm

I guess the 'moral' of the whole story is that your real family in the end is the one we build around us, not necessarily those who are related by blood. You can't choose your relatives as my Granny used to say! Dad Hunter you're building family and a network just by undertaking this search, even if you don't actually meet your Dad you're certainly meeting some other amazing people who are all part of your past in some way.

I can almost feel a thesis coming out of this Goa story - what a great book it would be, your story and Dad Hunters and everyone elses! Perhaps you'll all find eachother instead of/as well as your fathers - and there you have a family! Good luck with Uni, I'm doing my masters - IM is a good distraction when I'm supposed to be researching or writing!