You are foreign, so I won't understand you.

Nick-H

Last year I had to write place names down and show them. This year they mostly just take me there --- so something must have improved. Actually, before I left London I was telling a Tamil friend about my plans and he commented that my pronunciation of place names had improved. I'm not conscious of the change: just the result.

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guerik

I had the same experience a few times: I would be out practising my Hindi (usually some crazy-basic phrase) and someone would tell me "sorry, I don't speak English".
I swear my Hindi's not that bad!

stormysky

One of my colleagues had this problem when he was in France. When he was leaving he called up the reception and asked for a taxi to take him to the airport, but the receptionist could not understand what he was saying. So he called up after a couple of minutes and spoke English with a French accent and got it right the first time

Cheers

Nick-H

So it does work! Did he do it very s l o w l y and LOUDLY ? Good old British tradition

I had a problem recently with numbers: "oh" is not understood as 0. I try to remember I have to say "zero". Didn't get my gas bottle delivered today because of that one.

ChrisJ

My Kasmiri mate used to make fun of me with my pronunciation of Dal lake:

Me "Dal Lake"

Him "Noo! Dal Lake. Its called "Dal". You say it like the food!"

Me "Dal Lake"

Him "No! Dal Lake!"

Me "Dal Lake?"

Him "Noooooo! Dal Lake!"

Me "Dal Lake?"

Him "Nooooooo!"

Me "Dal Dal Dal!?!?!"

Him "Bloody stupid English!!!"

(The irony was I was actually staying on Nagin lake. . . )

ChrisJ

ChrisJ

Another silly one:

I met a couple in Dharamsala. The wife was an "occasional smoker"

As many of you will know in upper Dharamsala its very touristy and you can buy all manner of western cigarettes. Anyhow - she found a kiosk selling her favourite brand from back home, a brand called "More" (These are very long slender cigarettes and quite unique I quess, as is the brand name). She was particulalry fond of the menthol version.

Afer a couple of days she went back to the kiosk and asked for a pack of menthol cigarettes. The guy hander her a pack the of Indian "Classic" brand menthol cigarettes.

"Oh - I'm sorry" She says. "Do you have any "More" ?

"Yes Madam" He replies gesturing towards his stock "I have plenty"

(She ran off laughing with embarassement at this point leaving myself and her husband to explain what she found so funny)

*jyoti*

Yes! One of my Indian friends who has been in the US almost two years and I were going to watch a movie. "What do you want to watch?" he said.
"The village," I said.
"The what?"
"The Village."
"The what?"
"The VILLage".
"What?"
"the VVVVVillage!"
"Huh?"
"I want to watch 'the Willidge," I said, affecting my best Hindi accent.
"Oh!" he says. "The Village!"

*jyoti*

When I was in Haiti, a fellow tried to talk to me and I kept saying "I don't speak Creole! Mwen pa pale Creole! I don't speak Creole." Finally, the person I was with said, "He's speaking English!" I felt so bad! It was probably the first time he'd met an American, and he was trying to practice his English, and I couldn't even tell it was supposed to be English!

machadinha

Hmm... in Thailand I was taught not to (try and) speak too fast (a common mistake among visitors) as you'll just be incomprehensible. Hence, asking for Kosanro' won't get you anywhere, whereas Khao San Road (pronounce well-articulated) might do the trick (in fact in this particular case asking for Tanon Khao San will vastly increase your chances as most people don't know what Khao San Road is. I do hope more recent editions of LP have managed to include this one frigging line as it's a lifesaver for a new arrival. This is annoying with many of their guides really, knowing that a road is a road and a square is a square may be nice for you but it won't get you very far if that's not what the locals call it and there's no street signs to begin with, let alone in English.)

Other funny ones: speaking about Cálcútta in the South: looks of total incomprehension. Ah you mean Kólkata sir! (I guess that new spelling really makes sense.)

Trying to get a train to Bíjapur: completely impossible, until you find out it's Bijápur.

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Reading tips, all picked up at IndiaMike : INDAX's A Comprehensive Guide To India / Dinoj Surendran's Desi Humor / ITHVC on Culture Shock & Travel Health / JetLag Travel Guides For the Undiscerning Traveller / India Travel Links

Theon

The Inglish accent can do wonders for comprehension. The hard part is learning which syllables to stress. Also hard is dropping the accent when you come home!

njm44

Haha, interesting. Having just returned from India I found the same thing on many occasions. I can't think of a particular example right now, but it would be somthing along the lines of: "do you know where D.H. Road is?", to which they'd look confused, and then seconds later say, "oh, you mean D.H. road!", in pretty much the same was as I had just said. The fact that people seemed to reply with the same pronounciation is what was confusing. I couldn't work out if people couldnt understand what I said, or just couldn't think of an answer straight away.

Karma Queen

yeah thats happened to me. i had a go at trying to say it in an indian accent and accompanying it with a bit of a head wobble, but mainly i just got kids laughing at me!

Newmark

Something that really makes me laugh is when English speaking people put on a foreign accent in an effort to be understood. I 'friend' I travelled with once in Thailand always used to do this. Because Thai is tonal, she seemed to think that by saying whatever she wanted the listener to understand in a sing-song voice would help. It never worked.

Anyone else ever noticed this?

guerik

No kidding! My work involves speaking with a lot of Indian people in Australia and I find myself if not slipping into the accent, at least returning to the Indian rythym of speech.

stormysky

It is generally not very difficult. You can stress on which ever syllable you want to or even better just speak it flat and drawl them a bit and you will have a very good Indian accent To perfect the Indian accent you will also need to know the standard Indian phrases.

What is your good name ??
What to do ?
Its Ok no ??

After you have learnt the phrases you will need to add a few words from the local languages of that region.

What yaar ?
Swalpa Adjust maadi.

This would make you an expert on Inglish (only of that region you see )
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And then there was this guy who came to me with a cigarette in his hand and asked me "Could you please share some fire with me"