when going to the loo indian style

psycle · Dec 13th, 2004, 06:56

ok , i have just returned from my first and totaly amazing trip to india now i want to know how they do it.
that is after going to the loo indian style how do they dry thier arse ??? ....lol
every time i done it i would end up with a wet patch as i put my pants back on, even if i sat for a miniute to drip dry, i would still get a wet patch.
please explain??? or do they get wet patches to??
.....psycle

SHIMLA · Dec 13th, 2004, 07:04

The "wet patch" should be confined to your underwear and should not show up on your trousers!!

Yetijuice · Dec 13th, 2004, 07:05

Apparently you have too much hair for the Klingons! Shave it off!

Nick-H · Dec 13th, 2004, 15:32

Hmmm... Must admit that, although I'm happy to wash instead of wipe, I do like to use a piece of toilet paper for drying afterwards.

sudheer poppa · Dec 14th, 2004, 09:30

When martin was home, I had actually demonstrated techniques to keep it dry

(ofcourse with clothes on!)

So let me know when you come to bangalore, or shall I take a video and host it on IM saying "how to survive in Indian loo"

And in more real terms, Nick's suggestion is most hygene Water + Toilet paper, the best of east and west.

seventies'hippy · Dec 14th, 2004, 13:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by sudheer

And in more real terms, Nick's suggestion is most hygene Water + Toilet paper, the best of east and west.

Yeah ha ha,,,,,,,

Where East meets West.
Love it!

Nick-H · Dec 14th, 2004, 15:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by seventies'hippy

Yeah ha ha,,,,,,,

Where East meets West.
Love it!

Oh Yes

. I wonder if United Nations know about this one?

Better not tell them... I don't want a UN Observation team in my toilet!

beach · Dec 14th, 2004, 16:05

Your ultimate test to prove the toilet skill is inside a train. I mean with the Indian style toilet. You should have farley good gymnastics skill to do that balancing act. Otherwise leave alone the wet patch, you will come out as if you have fallen in a fool of water.

ddutta · Dec 14th, 2004, 16:30

For more details :-

http://www.indax.com/toilets.html

Nick-H · Dec 15th, 2004, 06:40

Great Typos of Our Time No. 2,786

Quote:

Originally Posted by beach

fallen in a fool of water.

Nice one

Padma · Dec 15th, 2004, 06:51

You're spot on Beach. The train was my greatest test (espcially late at night when a bit drowsy and uncoordinated) but once mastered, you can go anywhere with confidence.

Shaktipalooza · Dec 15th, 2004, 07:16

It's interesting how so many westerners never clue into the Indian ways. Next time you are at the loo, take a look around. Somewhere nearby you should spot a monkey secured to a chain with a bucket of water and a hand fan sitting beside him.

Walk over to the monkey, yank his chain and he will follow you into the toilet area. Now just go about your business as normal, no need to rush. When you are finished doing the deed slowly pull the banana (you should always have at least one, a bunch if you are a new arrival) out of your pocket and place it in your teeth. This is a signal to the monkey that it's time for him to get started.

A monkey's lack of opposable thumbs can be somewhat limiting in their accuracy with the water bucket but what they lack in finesse will be compensated in vigor. The neophyte may be a little disturbed by this but rest assured, nobody has ever been irreversibly injured in the process. Remain calm while the monkey finishes by drying you off with the fan. If he's been especially well trained you may get a little polishing as a treat.

A quick slap on the derrier is a signal from the monkey that it's now time for you to pay and leave. Hand the banana over and be on your busy day.

Never use the toilet without an ass monkey.

tadka · Dec 15th, 2004, 07:38

When you are finished doing the deed slowly pull the banana (you should always have at least one, a bunch if you are a new arrival) out of your pocket and place it in your teeth.

*

excellent advice! thanks! but i would add, as a non indian, that this IS one of the more advanced techniques. believe you me, i've tried to keep the bananas in my pocket and they always end up squished--and then the damn ass monkey gets pissed and the fangs come out and, well, you get the picture. i would suggest that we non indians start our adventures in the loo with our bananas tucked in our hats. or better yet--

hey wait! you meant shirt pocket, didn't you!!! all this time, i've been putting bananas in my pants pocket! doh!

natasha chanda acharya · Dec 15th, 2004, 09:33

you guys are completely crazy. i fell off my chair laughing, Shaktipalooza. i guess i will follow your posts more closely now.

ddutta, good link!
happy day, all!

Nick-H · Dec 15th, 2004, 17:13

Shatktipalooza, Tadka, very very nice double act! My day is now much more chearful

Dec 13th, 2004, 06:56	#1
psycle Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: australia Posts: 8	when going to the loo indian style ok , i have just returned from my first and totaly amazing trip to india now i want to know how they do it. that is after going to the loo indian style how do they dry thier arse ??? ....lol every time i done it i would end up with a wet patch as i put my pants back on, even if i sat for a miniute to drip dry, i would still get a wet patch. please explain??? or do they get wet patches to?? .....psycle

Dec 13th, 2004, 07:04	#2
SHIMLA Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Yangon, MYANMAR Posts: 4,125	The "wet patch" should be confined to your underwear and should not show up on your trousers!! __________________ Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop !

Dec 13th, 2004, 07:05	#3
Yetijuice Old Trekkers Never Die, They Go Over the Next Pass Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Behind the Orange Curtain, California Posts: 174	Skip to the Loo Apparently you have too much hair for the Klingons! Shave it off!

Dec 13th, 2004, 15:32	#4
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 26,819	Hmmm... Must admit that, although I'm happy to wash instead of wipe, I do like to use a piece of toilet paper for drying afterwards. __________________ . Just one member of the IndiaMike Mod Team

Dec 14th, 2004, 09:30	#5
sudheer poppa Senior brick in the wall Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pole Posts: 1,475	This is an eternal question... When martin was home, I had actually demonstrated techniques to keep it dry (ofcourse with clothes on!) So let me know when you come to bangalore, or shall I take a video and host it on IM saying "how to survive in Indian loo" And in more real terms, Nick's suggestion is most hygene Water + Toilet paper, the best of east and west. __________________ We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools - MLK Pic Page 1 Pic Page 2 When my life changed over a week

Dec 14th, 2004, 16:05	#8
beach Lost in translation Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: India ! Posts: 2,233	Your ultimate test to prove the toilet skill is inside a train. I mean with the Indian style toilet. You should have farley good gymnastics skill to do that balancing act. Otherwise leave alone the wet patch, you will come out as if you have fallen in a fool of water.

Dec 14th, 2004, 16:30	#9
ddutta Maha Guru Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: kolkata Posts: 803	A tissueless existence ( Using The Loo ) For more details :- http://www.indax.com/toilets.html

Dec 15th, 2004, 06:51	#11
Padma Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 77	You're spot on Beach. The train was my greatest test (espcially late at night when a bit drowsy and uncoordinated) but once mastered, you can go anywhere with confidence.

Dec 15th, 2004, 07:16	#12
Shaktipalooza Maha Guru Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 895	indian toilet essentials It's interesting how so many westerners never clue into the Indian ways. Next time you are at the loo, take a look around. Somewhere nearby you should spot a monkey secured to a chain with a bucket of water and a hand fan sitting beside him. Walk over to the monkey, yank his chain and he will follow you into the toilet area. Now just go about your business as normal, no need to rush. When you are finished doing the deed slowly pull the banana (you should always have at least one, a bunch if you are a new arrival) out of your pocket and place it in your teeth. This is a signal to the monkey that it's time for him to get started. A monkey's lack of opposable thumbs can be somewhat limiting in their accuracy with the water bucket but what they lack in finesse will be compensated in vigor. The neophyte may be a little disturbed by this but rest assured, nobody has ever been irreversibly injured in the process. Remain calm while the monkey finishes by drying you off with the fan. If he's been especially well trained you may get a little polishing as a treat. A quick slap on the derrier is a signal from the monkey that it's now time for you to pay and leave. Hand the banana over and be on your busy day. Never use the toilet without an ass monkey.

Dec 15th, 2004, 07:38	#13
tadka Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: u.s. Posts: 69	When you are finished doing the deed slowly pull the banana (you should always have at least one, a bunch if you are a new arrival) out of your pocket and place it in your teeth. * excellent advice! thanks! but i would add, as a non indian, that this IS one of the more advanced techniques. believe you me, i've tried to keep the bananas in my pocket and they always end up squished--and then the damn ass monkey gets pissed and the fangs come out and, well, you get the picture. i would suggest that we non indians start our adventures in the loo with our bananas tucked in our hats. or better yet-- hey wait! you meant shirt pocket, didn't you!!! all this time, i've been putting bananas in my pants pocket! doh!

Dec 15th, 2004, 09:33	#14
natasha chanda acharya barefeet indian Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: India Posts: 566	you guys are completely crazy. i fell off my chair laughing, Shaktipalooza. i guess i will follow your posts more closely now. ddutta, good link! happy day, all!

Dec 15th, 2004, 17:13	#15
Nick-H Loud-mouthed, Noisy Bird Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Chennai, India Posts: 26,819	Shatktipalooza, Tadka, very very nice double act! My day is now much more chearful

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