The Language of Matrimony

#1 Oct 6th, 2004, 00:10
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#1
An unencumbered, well-settled man with no issues and clean habits (well, mostly...) seeking an alliance... wonders

In the context of Indian matrimonial ads, what is the English for the Indienglish expression Broad-minded?

I'm assuming it means something like 'with wide interests'

For sure it wouldn't have the meaning it would have in a the UK equivalent ie 'you have to accept my rather strange ways or infidility'!!!

Why do I ask? Although I think it is far more likely that, as a foreigner, I will find a mate through personal introduction, I have to while away my hours doing something! And perhaps it is not so unlikely as it has already resulted in one romance and one good penpal friendship.
#2 Oct 6th, 2004, 00:42
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#2
If the seeker is "broad-minded," it usually means he/she will accept an inquiry from another caste, or from someone who is divorced, or otherwise has some stigma (cf. "caste no bar").

If the seeker is looking for someone who is "broad-minded," it could mean that he/she has some stigma that will come out in the negotiations and won't be printed in the ad.

There are a million such stigmas, most of which aren't rational--but they always seem terribly important at the time.

Bottom line is, "broad-minded" suggests there is some problem somewhere, at least in the matrimonial calculus. "Having wide interests" would not be included in ad--as personality quirks are irrelevant in this process.
#3 Oct 6th, 2004, 03:43
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#3
Thanks for that. It seems to be so common. Now I copme to think of it I may well have seen it on descriptions of divorcees and widows; I'll watch out for the correlation.

I wonder to what extent advertising (newspapers or internet) means that other avenues have failed.

Either that, or a there is a specific desire to marry outside of current circumstances.

Ahh, what a jungle, ehh? But no more than life in general
#4 Oct 6th, 2004, 05:33
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#4
Try "open minded" instead..
#5 Oct 7th, 2004, 22:06
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#5
Newspaper ads don't mean other avenues have failed. Usually, there is a flurry of activity on all fronts, the ads just being one of them. Sometimes, parents place ads without their kid's permission; other times, the kids help write the ad.

If a person has grown up in a decent-sized community, there will be plenty of marital options appropriate to caste and other considerations. If the family has moved around a lot, say, if the father works for the railroad and has shifted several times and the family now lives in some civil servants' colony on the outskirts of town--an ad might be the best way to try to find someone appropriate (i.e., not necessarily just the child of another rail worker).

So, as you say, the ads are a way of reaching beyond one's current circumstances--but the fact of the ad doesn't necessarily indicate anything special.
#6 Oct 7th, 2004, 22:20
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#6
www.bharatmatrimony.com or www.shaadi.com

(select the state & go. There are millions of people advertising with all complicated requirements)
#7 Oct 8th, 2004, 04:52
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#7
Thanks Merchant.

Beach: yes, I know both those well! In fact if you want a giggle, you might find something familiar in the description of a Carnatic-music-loving Englishman who goes by the name of FURLONG. Ahh well, so much for the anonimity!-)

It is an amazing world, these ads. Many of them say nothing about the person whatsoever, but detail the proffesions etc of the rest of the familly. I guess this is the tradition, especially where the familly placed the ad, and what is seen as important: the marriage of two famillies, not two individuals.

To see a photo of a woman smiling is a breath of fresh air: I wonder if a smile is considered too forward?

And then there are the horror stories. One short paragraph, almost as a by-the-way, describing some awful incident in life. The most shocking that I have seen was a woman stating that she was the sole survivor of her previous husband's attempt to murder his entire familly.

Well; I havn't found my bride yet (or she hasn't found me). But it is not just a theoretical or (as I occasionally accuse myself) voyeuristic excercise... Meeting up with a contact was a big part of why I visited India this year (obviously it didn't work out). And my Tamil Parisian pen pal too.

Who knows who I'll meet and how!
#8 Dec 10th, 2004, 16:14
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#8
What is actually this matrimony thing about? I have one email in yahoo.india, and there is always the entertainment of the site and things like "find your life partner online".
Isn't it, that in India it is more responsobility of parents to find husband/wife for their children? Or matrimony sites are for parents also?
#9 Oct 4th, 2013, 17:54
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#9
Name:  WNews.jpg
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the loss thus gain.
:brishti
#10 Oct 4th, 2013, 20:22
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#10
#11 Oct 4th, 2013, 20:25
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#11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick-H View Post Well; I havn't found my bride yet (or she hasn't found me). But it is not just a theoretical or (as I occasionally accuse myself) voyeuristic excercise... Meeting up with a contact was a big part of why I visited India this year (obviously it didn't work out). And my Tamil Parisian pen pal too.

Who knows who I'll meet and how!
Perhaps Nick might like to take this opportunity to update us on the current situation.
#12 Oct 4th, 2013, 20:45
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#12
Oh goodness... Life has certainly moved on since then!
#13 Oct 4th, 2013, 20:49
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#13
He is too busy being up all night on the net.



It would be nice to see you, but I've had a bit of hectic social week, and will probably enjoy my solitude this Sunday. Somehow, I really need so many hours alone each day and each week.

On Chennai meet ups.

Take care when posting, you never know.

Perhaps an update , and how is the missus
#14 Oct 5th, 2013, 05:50
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#14
That is a clever walk through memory walk. A belated congrats Nick..
#15 Oct 5th, 2013, 10:47
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#15
Tell us the story.

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