switch card & interracial relationship

benton78

Hi all, two very different questions for anyone to help with. Firstly the dull logistical one: will I be able to use a switch/maestro debit card in India? I’ve been booking trains and hotels online from England but have had to borrow a visa card to do this because nowhere even acknowledges anything other than visa or MasterCard; will this be the case when actually in India (at ATMs in particular) and am I to be stuck with travellers cheques?
And secondly, I’m going to Chennai to stay with my Indian girlfriend who I met at university in England (I’m a white male, by the way) and she’s quite worried about how she’ll be perceived walking around and eating dinner, watching cinema etc with a white boy. I don’t want to spend weeks being stared at and shunned (if truth be told, she got enough of that from the Asian population of England when she was with me over here!), so do you think this will be an problem in Tamil Nadu? I’m aware that holding hands and public kissing is taboo regardless of the participants, but surely just spending time with her in public won’t be too much of an issue?

Anders

A maestro debit card will work just fine in ATMs.

Nick-H

My Indian wife and I don't get stared at.

If you are much younger than us (which you probably are ) I guess it might increase your starability factor, but I wouldn't worry too much.

Chennai is getting quite modern (err, well, more modern) these days.

Dress and behave modestly and you'll be fine.

Welcome to IM and Enjoy Chennai

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crvlvr

Avoid all PDA (Public Display of Affection) and the both of you will be fine.

Merchant

Plenty of white guys date Indian girls all over the world, including India itself. In Chennai, the locals will think you are rich and/or a rock star (why else would such a fine Tamil woman from a respectable family get involved with a bloke like yourself?).

aadil

Your Maestro card will work at most outlets so don't worry about that and the white guy with local girl will always get stared at when you are in small towns but not so much in bigger cities though you will get the occasional staring everywhere!!! If you were stared at in your country then why not here?!!! HAHAHA!!! Don't let it bother you though and just get on with what you want to do regardless of how people stare at you!!! If you are decently dressed and not getting too close for comfort then it should be fine and no one else's business what you do. Take care and enjoy your visit here.

Cheers,
Aadil.

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sirensongs

Not so sure about this...my British pal Ollie has all kinds of unsavoury stories about his wife Laxmi being treated like a prostitute - they just assume she must be if she is with a white man. (!) Including one episode on their honeymoon (still in bridal finery) when the hotel man was about to give them a room, only to be whispered to by the manager - suddenly the hotel was full up.

The reverse has been known to be true for white or other foreign ladies being seen with Indian men. *No matter how well or discreetly they are dressed.*

An interesting variation on this was in Himachal when some Indian male tourists (trying to chat me up) asked me whether my Bengali boyfriend was my "guide." (Evidently lots of foreign women get involved with their guides!)

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maiia_m

Any foreigner does get stared at ..only cos ur not a common sight..THATS ALL...as long as you do as your girlfriend tells you to..only cos she's a lil more in sync with the place ....your gonna be fine..and will probably have a great time...and nobody shuns foreigners..in fact its just the opposite cos everyone wants to come off sounding and acting 'cosmopolitan' and universal in tastes and interests.

Ur GONNA have a FAB time!! Trust me.

instantoats

sorry, but does holding hands count at PDA?

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icetea

Mixed couple here also, and in Chennai. We do get stared at a little bit, but you have to get used to that, and it's anyway not the heavy, open-mouthed kind of staring. Obviously you will attract more attention than a local couple.

But by all means, none if the problems that sirensong was mentioning above, although we have been travelling around a bit, staying in hotels and all that. Hotel people might actually have all those thoughts and look a bit funnily at you, but we have never been refused a room on such grounds.

istantoats - holding hands does count as public display of affection in India...yes. But I'm actually surprised at how many (local) couples do it anyway...even in a city like Chennai. Married couples..though..and not very young also.

Nick-H

The attitude that I meet most often to having married an Indian wife is either pride, and being congratulated on my good sense, or being taken and treated as an honarary Indian.

Now I know that there are religious fundamentalists to whom marrying a foreigner would be akin to not bathing for a year, but, I'm glad to say that, even in this corber of conservatism, I don't really encounter them. And if they say like that behind our backs, well that's no skin off or noses!

crvlvr

IMHO, yes. I agree with Siren Song's assessment on the how the general public, especially in touristy areas, will react. I am not doubting Nick's experience. But I would credit that to more of an age thing (older people get more respect in India) It best to ber better safe than sorry in a foreign country.

Nick-H

Hey! Not so much with the Age thing, OK? !!!

instantoats

ahahahah! of course not, nick

part of me is, i think, unduly worried about such things and would love to find out if i have to make sure i don't touch my boyfriend at all or make sure i'm 0.489 metres away from him. but i guess the best thing to do is to turn up the senses, and observe the locals, and not stray too far from that...

cdrake

instantoasts, I don't know what your or your boyfriend's ethenicity is..but how it seems to work in india(cities india) is that 1. there are places where open PDA is tolerated.you'll know which by the presence of large numbers of young couples there. however kissing / using your hands to express intimacy is considered making out. 2. When you are in the presence of older people(even strangers), PDA is considered somewhat rude..at the level of raising your voice inside someone's house. 3. MAking out in public is considered a no no (mostly). 4. white foreign people are exempt ...but random acts of judgementalism may occur. 5. interracial couples making out, if the man is foreign need to be a littleextra careful. If the woman is foreign , may get away with judgemental comments alone, and usually the fact they're an interracial couple itself is considered equivalent to PDA.

All this does not apply 1. in tourist areas like dharamshala or darjeeling 2. in big metro cities /nightlife like bangalore or bombay 3. in the star hotel/ upper class milleu.

This is very different than tourist/ foreigner directed CRIME.