Joke for the day!!

cyberhippie · Apr 13th, 2004, 09:30

The Bihar chief minister Laloo Prasad Yadev is on a visit to america.

Whilst there none other than George W. Bush gets to hear that the great corrupt politician from India is town.

Anxious to prove that American politicians are no slouches when it come to corruption, he decides to invite laloo to his Palatial Ranch in Texas.

After dinning and making small talk George Bush invites Laloo up stairs to the roof terrace.

He points to a big river in the distance with a new bridge crossing it and says to Laloo with a twinkle in his eye " this magnificent ranch house was paid for by money scheduled for the building that bridge!!!

Laloo admits to being duly impressed and invites George Bush to his home on his next visit to India.

The following year George Bush does indeed visit Laloo and after dinning in the style of a Maharaja Laloo invites George Bush upstairs to his roof terrace.

He points to a big river in the distance and says to George Bush "this palace your standing in was paid for by money scheduled for that bridge."

George Bush squints at the river and replies "but I don't see any bridge"

Laloo just smiles!!!!!

SHIMLA · Apr 13th, 2004, 10:16

Good one, cyberhippie!

And one from me :

Jayalalitha, Sonia and Laloo die and are sent to hell. On reaching hell, Satan greets them and says, "Well, now that you are here, I permit each of you one last wish. What is it you want?" Each says that he/she would like to call his/her home and inform the relatives that they have reached hell safely !

Satan agrees but says that each will have to bear the cost of the call, as call charges from hell to earth were very steep. They all nod.

Jayalalitha is first, she calls Chennai, speaks for three minutes and is slapped with a bill of Rs 1000/-. Next Sonia calls Delhi, speaks for five minutes and is slapped with a bill of RS.1700/-.
Laloo then calles Patna, speaks for fifteen minutes and his bill is only Rs.6/- !

Naturally, the ladies protest and demand an explanation form Satan !

Satan explains," Well, dear ladies, its like this; a call from hell to Patna, or anywhere in Bihar, is treated as a local call!!"

Selvi · Apr 13th, 2004, 10:46

funny

tstan · Apr 13th, 2004, 13:26

Hi Shimla

Could we infer from that little tale that call charges in Himachal Pradesh are incredibly cheap?

SHIMLA · Apr 13th, 2004, 13:51

Hi tstan!

Now how does Himachal Pradesh come into this???

tstan · Apr 13th, 2004, 14:06

If calls from Hell are incredibly expensive - allowing a dispensation for Biharis -one might assume that calls from Heaven would be correspondingly cheap!

SHIMLA · Apr 13th, 2004, 16:24

Ah! Now that you specify heaven, calls to H.P. from there must certainly be local calls!!

Its not for nothing that H.P. is referred to as the "Abode of the Gods" !

tstan · Apr 14th, 2004, 04:42

Here is a funny little story for the many cricket and train obsessives on the forum.

A few days ago I received an e-mail from my old mate Shane who is currently in Pakistan following the exciting cricket series. He is very knowledgeable about the sport but is otherwise rather an unworldly person, despite having a mother who has a strong liking for Indian culture. Indeed, she is an enthusiatic body piercer and has extensive henna tattoos done on a regular basis which she displays to good effect while shopping in one of her beautifully designed saris or, in colder weather, a salwar kameez. In suburban Melbourne, this certainly turns heads.

Shane was most impressed by the inventiveness of the many Indian touts that he came across while staying in Paharganj with his two Sydney mates, Steve and Mark.

In that densely populated part of Delhi our three lads met three young Indians who were also going to Pakistan. Parthiv, Irfan and Anil, however, were greatly interested in India's magnificent architectural heritage and, besides, they had much to teach the young Antipodeans about financial matters. They claimed that it was possible to travel down to Agra, visit the Taj, have a good lunch and return to Pahaganj for the princely sum of 27/- each. This was less than an Australian dollar so the Aussie lads were all ears. Parthiv told them to do exactly as the Indian lads did.

At NDLS he bought one sleeper class ticket for 81/- and Shane did the same. At 8am the six young men boarded the Toofan Express and promply occupied the two toilets at the end of the carriage - Indians in one and Aussies in the other. Since Shane was on a heavy course of diuretics and in addition, there was a slab of Kingfisher to work through, this long term arrangement was quite convenient for the young Aussies.

There they stayed until 10.50am when the conductor knocked on the door and asked for the ticket. Parthiv slipped his ticket under the door and it was checked, punched and returned. Shane did the same, and it was simply a matter of waiting until the train arrived at Agra Fort at 1.10pm.

In order to save money the six young men walked alongside the Yamuna to the Taj and just before reaching Taj Ganj the three Indians quickly ducked into the bushes, removed their clothes and changed into uniforms such as are worn by guards at the Taj. These uniforms were permanently kept in their day packs.Our three Aussies had only a smattering of Hindi and couldn't possibly pass themselves off as Indian residents so they had to pay 750/-apiece for entry.

Since it was lunch time, Parthiv, Irfan and Anil went straight to the staff canteen where excellent Gujarati Thalis and cardamom tea was provided for them - but alas not to the Antipodeans -at no cost.

All of the lads greatly enjoyed themselves at the Taj and, to save money, walked back into the centre of Agra since returning trains to Delhi - after 2.20pm - left from the Agra Cantonment station.

Parthiv told Shane to buy one ticket to New Delhi station and at 5.20pm they all boarded the Jhelhum Express. Shane asked Parthiv why he had not purchased a ticket but Parthiv simply replied " Watch, listen and learn."

It was back to the toilets as before. The three Aussies re-opened their 2003 Wisden almanacs. Because they had not got out of the habit of moving their lips as they read, none of them had progressed beyond the second chapter by the time the train reached Mathura.

Then, Anil left the closet, tiptoed over to the Aussie cubicle and in an officious voice, first in Hindi and then in English, asked for the ticket.

hash666 · Apr 14th, 2004, 20:05

a plane was crashing and the pilot asks the passengers to offload any baggages they dint need to save them from the cash...The american throws out bags of dollarsclaiming that the u.s has lots of them, the scot throws out bottles of scotch claiming to the amount of scotch in scotland, the indian grabs the nearest israeli and throws him out...

Arun · Apr 14th, 2004, 21:44

Ouch.

vistet · Apr 15th, 2004, 01:30

"-Mr Gandhi, what do you think of western civilisation ? "
- I think... it would be a good idea"

pooch · Apr 15th, 2004, 01:34

heh that one's like an urban legend with a twist but why Israelis ? are they such a loathed lot ?

vistet · Apr 15th, 2004, 01:46

Quote:

Originally posted by pooch
but why Israelis ?

I will thread very lightly on this subject , and dont want to open for any generalisations , but many of the Israelis I met came directly from military service and appeared to me to be traumatised by it.

hash666 · Apr 15th, 2004, 13:57

no offence to israelis.... but the plane was headed to goa and there are just too many of them there...

cyberhippie · Apr 15th, 2004, 14:31

Oh no Not the israeli question is again!!
Quick quick another joke !!!
A Japanese development minister is visiting Bihar.
During his stay there he is taken on the grand tour by Laloo.
After a week touring the state he is visibly shaken by what he sees.
That evening over a few drinks he says to Laloo "you know give me three years and I could turn Bihar into the success story that is Japan!!"
Laloo looks him straight in the eye and says "give me 6 months and I could turn Japan into Bihar!!"

Apr 13th, 2004, 09:30	#1
cyberhippie Account Closed by User's Request Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 6,012	Joke for the day!! The Bihar chief minister Laloo Prasad Yadev is on a visit to america. Whilst there none other than George W. Bush gets to hear that the great corrupt politician from India is town. Anxious to prove that American politicians are no slouches when it come to corruption, he decides to invite laloo to his Palatial Ranch in Texas. After dinning and making small talk George Bush invites Laloo up stairs to the roof terrace. He points to a big river in the distance with a new bridge crossing it and says to Laloo with a twinkle in his eye " this magnificent ranch house was paid for by money scheduled for the building that bridge!!! Laloo admits to being duly impressed and invites George Bush to his home on his next visit to India. The following year George Bush does indeed visit Laloo and after dinning in the style of a Maharaja Laloo invites George Bush upstairs to his roof terrace. He points to a big river in the distance and says to George Bush "this palace your standing in was paid for by money scheduled for that bridge." George Bush squints at the river and replies "but I don't see any bridge" Laloo just smiles!!!!!

Apr 13th, 2004, 10:16	#2
SHIMLA Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Yangon, MYANMAR Posts: 4,125	Joke ! Good one, cyberhippie! And one from me : Jayalalitha, Sonia and Laloo die and are sent to hell. On reaching hell, Satan greets them and says, "Well, now that you are here, I permit each of you one last wish. What is it you want?" Each says that he/she would like to call his/her home and inform the relatives that they have reached hell safely ! Satan agrees but says that each will have to bear the cost of the call, as call charges from hell to earth were very steep. They all nod. Jayalalitha is first, she calls Chennai, speaks for three minutes and is slapped with a bill of Rs 1000/-. Next Sonia calls Delhi, speaks for five minutes and is slapped with a bill of RS.1700/-. Laloo then calles Patna, speaks for fifteen minutes and his bill is only Rs.6/- ! Naturally, the ladies protest and demand an explanation form Satan ! Satan explains," Well, dear ladies, its like this; a call from hell to Patna, or anywhere in Bihar, is treated as a local call!!" __________________ Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop !

Apr 14th, 2004, 21:44	#10
Arun zindabad! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Israel Posts: 170	Ouch. __________________ Jai Hind.

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Apr 13th, 2004, 10:46	#3
Selvi Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: villa near Hyderabad Posts: 6	funny

Apr 13th, 2004, 13:26	#4
tstan power brake keep distance Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: sydney Posts: 191	Hi Shimla Could we infer from that little tale that call charges in Himachal Pradesh are incredibly cheap?

Apr 13th, 2004, 13:51	#5
SHIMLA Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Yangon, MYANMAR Posts: 4,125	Hi tstan! Now how does Himachal Pradesh come into this???

Apr 13th, 2004, 14:06	#6
tstan power brake keep distance Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: sydney Posts: 191	If calls from Hell are incredibly expensive - allowing a dispensation for Biharis -one might assume that calls from Heaven would be correspondingly cheap!

Apr 13th, 2004, 16:24	#7
SHIMLA Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Yangon, MYANMAR Posts: 4,125	Ah! Now that you specify heaven, calls to H.P. from there must certainly be local calls!! Its not for nothing that H.P. is referred to as the "Abode of the Gods" !

Apr 14th, 2004, 04:42	#8
tstan power brake keep distance Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: sydney Posts: 191	Here is a funny little story for the many cricket and train obsessives on the forum. A few days ago I received an e-mail from my old mate Shane who is currently in Pakistan following the exciting cricket series. He is very knowledgeable about the sport but is otherwise rather an unworldly person, despite having a mother who has a strong liking for Indian culture. Indeed, she is an enthusiatic body piercer and has extensive henna tattoos done on a regular basis which she displays to good effect while shopping in one of her beautifully designed saris or, in colder weather, a salwar kameez. In suburban Melbourne, this certainly turns heads. Shane was most impressed by the inventiveness of the many Indian touts that he came across while staying in Paharganj with his two Sydney mates, Steve and Mark. In that densely populated part of Delhi our three lads met three young Indians who were also going to Pakistan. Parthiv, Irfan and Anil, however, were greatly interested in India's magnificent architectural heritage and, besides, they had much to teach the young Antipodeans about financial matters. They claimed that it was possible to travel down to Agra, visit the Taj, have a good lunch and return to Pahaganj for the princely sum of 27/- each. This was less than an Australian dollar so the Aussie lads were all ears. Parthiv told them to do exactly as the Indian lads did. At NDLS he bought one sleeper class ticket for 81/- and Shane did the same. At 8am the six young men boarded the Toofan Express and promply occupied the two toilets at the end of the carriage - Indians in one and Aussies in the other. Since Shane was on a heavy course of diuretics and in addition, there was a slab of Kingfisher to work through, this long term arrangement was quite convenient for the young Aussies. There they stayed until 10.50am when the conductor knocked on the door and asked for the ticket. Parthiv slipped his ticket under the door and it was checked, punched and returned. Shane did the same, and it was simply a matter of waiting until the train arrived at Agra Fort at 1.10pm. In order to save money the six young men walked alongside the Yamuna to the Taj and just before reaching Taj Ganj the three Indians quickly ducked into the bushes, removed their clothes and changed into uniforms such as are worn by guards at the Taj. These uniforms were permanently kept in their day packs.Our three Aussies had only a smattering of Hindi and couldn't possibly pass themselves off as Indian residents so they had to pay 750/-apiece for entry. Since it was lunch time, Parthiv, Irfan and Anil went straight to the staff canteen where excellent Gujarati Thalis and cardamom tea was provided for them - but alas not to the Antipodeans -at no cost. All of the lads greatly enjoyed themselves at the Taj and, to save money, walked back into the centre of Agra since returning trains to Delhi - after 2.20pm - left from the Agra Cantonment station. Parthiv told Shane to buy one ticket to New Delhi station and at 5.20pm they all boarded the Jhelhum Express. Shane asked Parthiv why he had not purchased a ticket but Parthiv simply replied " Watch, listen and learn." It was back to the toilets as before. The three Aussies re-opened their 2003 Wisden almanacs. Because they had not got out of the habit of moving their lips as they read, none of them had progressed beyond the second chapter by the time the train reached Mathura. Then, Anil left the closet, tiptoed over to the Aussie cubicle and in an officious voice, first in Hindi and then in English, asked for the ticket.

Apr 14th, 2004, 20:05	#9
hash666 Lord of the Flames Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Land of the Free Posts: 320	a plane was crashing and the pilot asks the passengers to offload any baggages they dint need to save them from the cash...The american throws out bags of dollarsclaiming that the u.s has lots of them, the scot throws out bottles of scotch claiming to the amount of scotch in scotland, the indian grabs the nearest israeli and throws him out...

Apr 15th, 2004, 01:30	#11
vistet Maha Guru Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Umeå , Sweden Posts: 1,731	"-Mr Gandhi, what do you think of western civilisation ? " - I think... it would be a good idea"

Apr 15th, 2004, 01:34	#12
pooch Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Middle East <---->India Posts: 384	heh that one's like an urban legend with a twist but why Israelis ? are they such a loathed lot ?

Apr 15th, 2004, 13:57	#14
hash666 Lord of the Flames Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Land of the Free Posts: 320	no offence to israelis.... but the plane was headed to goa and there are just too many of them there...

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Apr 15th, 2004, 14:31	#15
cyberhippie Account Closed by User's Request Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 6,012	Oh no Not the israeli question is again!! Quick quick another joke !!! A Japanese development minister is visiting Bihar. During his stay there he is taken on the grand tour by Laloo. After a week touring the state he is visibly shaken by what he sees. That evening over a few drinks he says to Laloo "you know give me three years and I could turn Bihar into the success story that is Japan!!" Laloo looks him straight in the eye and says "give me 6 months and I could turn Japan into Bihar!!"