Joke for the day!! (part deux)

larki55

For those who celebrate Halloween


Halloween costume.
>A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a
terrible
>headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a
devoted
>husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some
>aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being
spoiled
>by not going.
>So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping
soundly
>for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early,
she
>decided to go the party.
>Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she
would
>have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was
not
>with him.
>She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on
the
>dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a
little
>feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being
a
>rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and
devoted
>his time to the new woman that had just arrived. She let him go as far
as
>he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
>Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed,
so
>off they went to one of the cars and had sex. Just before unmasking at
>midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got
into
>bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

>She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of
a
>time he had. He said:
>- Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're
not
>there.
>- Did you dance much?
>- I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met

>Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and
played
>poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the
guy
>I loaned my costume to......."

TREKorDIE

Her expression:

my expression (abt the joke):

__________________
TREKorDIE:
" BECAUSE IT IS THERE ! ! ! "

larki55

After reading some of the news threads, I think we need (at least I do) to take a breather. Here are some dumb Jokes.


Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive.."


Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly. "I was artificially inseminated this morning." " I don't believe you," said Dolly
"It's true, no Bull!!" exclaimed Daisy




Two termites walk into a bar.
One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"



Happy Diwali Everyone!
larik55

robotvoice

a string walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender takes a look at him and points to the sign on the wall that says NO STRINGS ALOUD. the string leaves and is approached by another string in the alley. he ties him into a knot and spins him about until his ends are all frayed out. "Now try"
the string goes back into the bar and sits down.
the bartender says,"hey, aren't you that string i kicked out a second ago?"
"nope, i'm a frayed knot."

(this joke is better out loud)

larki55

Robotvoice,
that was a good one.
Here are a few more.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

robotvoice

one more:
a guy walks into a bar and says, "bartender, I want 10 shots of bourbon lined up in a row in front of me."
Bartender sizes him up and serves them, and then BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM the man downs them in about three seconds!
the bartenders says,"that's amazing, i've never seen anything like it in my 20 years here. How do you do it?"
"that's easy," says the man, "I don't have any money!"

rangss

EEK! I started to sing it in the original song's tune at my work place without realizing what I was doing! I did not even realise that my voice was loud!!!

__________________
...and I took the road less travelled.

hmm..whatcanthisbe

Bullfrogs & Blowjobs

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After
looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told
the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been
trained to give blowjobs!"

"Blowjobs!?" the woman replied.

"It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month." he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true... no
more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.

When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely
skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may
never need to perform this less than riveting act again.

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans
flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran
downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading
cookbooks.

"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.

The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone!"

hmm..whatcanthisbe

A 50-something man in Texas bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind flowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared down the Texas Interstate.

He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a State Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Texas State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper.

TREKorDIE

nice excuse.

larki55

Good one

JMurray

Q. What do you call an Indian milkman?
A. A dhood dude.


OK, I wont quit my day job.

guerik

A woman walks into a bar and asks for an innuendo.
So the bartender gives her one.

seventies'hippy

Go here and follow the instructions. It's the Coors site. You have to have your volume on. Follow the instructions EXACTLY


http://www.coorslight.com/iceswipe/

__________________
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TREKorDIE

OOOOPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
I was scared man...........missed a heart beat.


ToD