general advice please

goodriddance

Hello, ive been reading your forum for a few weeks now as i am going to india in a week and have never visited before. Ive found everything ive read to be very helpful and i know for a fact, never to wash my face in a hotel sink again However, i have one or two general questions if you would be kind enough to consider them:

1. I am male, 20, travelling with two females same age. I have read about the certain sacrifices which western females are advised to make when travelling india, clotheswise etc but i was wondering if perhaps there was a particular mode of dress for a western man, particular code of conduct etc. I would like to show respect where possible and just wondered if anyone had any advice as to, dos and donts?

2. Another concern i have is for my female companions. If they should be bothered by someone, would it be more advisable for me to intervene or to restrain myself and leave it to them to defend themselves? Not suggesting for a second that they need protecting (god knows my gf has a powerful right hook), just curious?

Okay, well thank you in advance for any replies!

timmy

With the dress thing, shorts on the knee or lower are fine if it's too hot for jeans/trousers (besides, who wears shorts above the knee anyway?). If you visit any mosques you'll need long trousers, tho.

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rab

God some fellas get all the luck!

Regarding your own attire I think the best suggestion is to wear practical clothes; i.e. lightweight, easy to wash and dry. Take a couple of older T shirts you don't mind giving away - not just to lighten your load if need be, but just wait to see the smile of delight when you give your host an Edinburgh Festival 1999 T shirt or whatever! And that's not meant to be in any way patronising - just a nice touch.

I made the mistake first time in India of wearing hippy loud clothes - baggy patchwork pants etc. To be honest the attitude you receive is one of total misunderstaning - if you are a westerner, and as such a "priveleged" individual, why dress down, why look daggy, have more self-respect.

I believe you will get more respect and feel more comfortable in modern fabrics, poly cotton trousers and shirts, lightweight shoes.

When travelling (anywhere) I usually wear Karrimor trousers, Merrell shoes or sandals, and a T shirt or cotton shirt.

In 2001 our host in Chennai unexpectedly invited me and mrs rab to a charity fundraiser in a top hotel. It was so embarrassing all we had was two T shirts each and one pair of trousers each - everyone was in their finery, beautiful saris, salwar kameez, all the guys in dinner suits! We just smiled and got on with it and enjoyed ourselves but got some funny looks.

Perhaps bear that in mind - it is easy to dress down, but not that easy to look decent if you go to a nice restaurant or something. I reckon good plain trousers and a shirt are as good as anyone can expect when travelling.

As for what's decent, take shorts which go to the knee for most occasions and long trousers if it's at all cool and for in holy places.

Now to your second question.

I reckon the lasses need to learn straight away to defend themselves if they get a problem - but seriously, my opinion is that you won't come across much hassle, but you may be expected to speak for you companions sometimes which is a bit weird.

Read the recent post "young F and travelling alone". It will give you an insight into some possible problems, but there are some very alarmist things written there. Bear them in mind but don't worry - you are going to a fantastic country and are very unlikely to get any serious trouble.

Have great trip. rab

goodriddance

thanks! both very helpful cheers! as for the "lucky fella" side of things, lets just say ill get the rough with the smooth...

i think ive basically packed the sort of things you've suggested. i didnt think about the idea of people talking to them through me, thanks for pointing it out. i think thats going to be one to get used to!

cheers again, thats settled some of my pre-trip nerves

radz

Ah Dress already India is getting hot,Supposed to be Spring here ..Cotton dress is good,if u visit religious places must cover fully,Bermudas will do ,if you visiting other sightseeing places.But females i say no bare legs )

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beach

Rab, Your experience with dress code remained me of a story told by my schoolteacher long back.
There was this place where people never had the concept of dress. The king and his folks of a far away country (who wear cloth) were invited to this place by the local king. The guest king did a research on etiquette and found out this peculiar aspect. So was the host king!!

Both decided to impress each other and ordered the folks accordingly. It was embarrassing for both when the ‘specially dressed’ hosts received the ‘specially naked’ guests!

Look at a few Indian channels or advertisements or the like. See what the ‘common man’ there wear. Too much of Indian style dress also may make you look stupid.

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KarinaM

I just got back from India. Well I'm a 50 year old (OK, OK 52) so I'm below the radar screen of anyone you're talking about, but I wore a loose cotton shalwar type top and linen pants with Birks to travel in. I had the top made (for about 350 rupees) in Delhi before we set off. Very comfortable and almost smart looking. In the evening I put on a nicer shirt and more formal pants. I was still much less snazzily dressed than our Indian friends at every social occasion, but more to the point I was treated with real courtesy whereever we went. Never hassled in the slightest. I did notice several young lady tourists (early 20s) wearing what my daughters call "belly showers" with tight low slung jeans or short shorts. The people I was with were slightly embarassed for them - and they themselves definitely were not aware of the extremely (negative) impression they were making. I think they would have been mortified to know how much they were being made fun of even though they probably wouldn't have stood out on any UK or US High Street. Point is, you can dress how you want but the consequences are then outside your control.