Anyone know of any Sikhs Punjabi-Chinese relationships?

GlobetrotterGirl

I know this is not a relationship forum but some discussions here have been quite helpful.

I am in a relationship with a Sikh Punjabi (Jatt) guy whom I met last year and I am Chinese. This is a long-distance relationship too and I am older than he is. (Yes I know, I have found someone whom I connect so much with but face the most difficult of obstacles).

I have tried many times researching the net but have found no stories about Sikhs in relationship with Chinese. Has anyone come across a couple like us as I feel a bit alone here.

He has told his parents already about me and urges me to come to India to meet them so I think he is taking this relationship quite seriously. He says his parents are open-minded. However, all I read is that most Sikhs just end up with arranged marriages with other Sikhs. Besides, I have also read some concerning stories about Jatt behaviour. What are my chances of being accepted by the community?

singsub

such as??

i hope you have not read the uncyclopedia description of jatt !!

brishti

globetrotter girl: list some of your apprehensions - or else theres no way of knowing what is you.

once you do that - trust you me - the yea's and nay's will come fast and furiously on your thread



:brishti

them northerners!!!! kidding kidding - OK?

EL ES DEE

Ohh really what is it ??


Globetrotter girl >> Im a Jatt Sikh...i would like to take couple of your points... see the community you are talking about (sikhs) and their mind set varies from families..yes it will be very very awkward for a sardar ji to marry a chinese girl, the families/relatives and society will not accept it without raising an eyebrow..its depends on if the folks of this dude you like plainly DO NOT CARE about society and are like me if they do care... then im sorry you will be very lucky to be a part of this family.. and addressing the " being a part of the community " ?? Um im sorry its not possible. THIS IS an OVERVIEW.

chow chow

wsminkapila

Personally, I would always go against any so called relationships made online i.e. through the internet. However, Yes there are exceptions at times. But again that is once in a Blue Moon, out of nowhere people end up getting married.

For the above scenario, as posted by GlobeTrotterGirl - I would simply say "NO" in any circumstances. But as they say-"Love is Blind" "Love has no Boundaries" "Love has no limitations". "Love does'nt care about the age" "Love is the best thing a person can ever have". No matter you Pray, Request, Get angry, Shout, Cry over the other person... It's of no use...

I also agree with EL ESS DEE ... for what he said....

GlobeTrotterGirl: If you can become that exception for net lovers ... You would be the happiest person I'm sure. But If you cannot........

It's better if you get to find out more about this guy.. If he says he has already spoken about you to his parents. Probably you can meet them when your here or talk to them over the phone or whatever suits you.

All the Best...

Cheers !!!

__________________
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GlobetrotterGirl

Thanks for all the replies. I know love is blind but I am also quite realistic and know that all the odds are stacked against us in many directions.

This is not a pure 'online' relationship as I have met this person before, and obviously now we can only keep in touch by emails and phone. I have spoken to his parents already. It maybe I have that one in a million chance of meeting a Sikh family who is quite open-minded to many things.

It all seems quite strange what I am going through and maybe I am going a little crazy, but only the future can tell me what will happen I guess.

wsminkapila

All the Best...........

kammaldeep

If the Boys parents are ok with the match.. then why and whats the worry ....

Regarding ur concern that the Surds (jatt) behaviour... yes they get hyper .. aand its not only with the community (jatt).. its with mostly all the surds...bt yes.. the tendency is largly found in Jatts...

bt the overall thing is that .. how good or bad is the person ..

All the best

GlobetrotterGirl

Thanks. Yes, it's the hyper behaviour and amount of drinking that the community is known for that worries me the most. However, guess everybody is different but unfortunately that is the stereotype presented.

capt_mahajan

Broadly speaking, what applies in those discussions (including a Bengali one I remember recently) will apply here too.

The more orthodox the family, the greater the adjustment.

I would say, that if you are lucky, none


Hasten to add- not talking about the Jatts in particular here. Just expressing my belief that one should forget the community while marrying or getting serious about a relationship, and that one is better off this way.

My million dollar question never changes. How much is he (and you, for that matter) willing to stand up for this relationship?

The rest does not matter, and is manageable.

PeakXV

I love India & the Indian People but this whole 'inlaw relationship' cum screening/ongoing monitoring process from what I hear, read about, and have occasionally witnessed might well be too overbearing and/or obtrusive in some mixed-race marriage/relationships for many of us slightly-less-than-gregarious foreigners to cope with or handle on a longterm basis.

Lot's of fishes in the sea these days .... so make absolutely sure of all the issues you're signing onto before rushing into anything permanent.

__________________
We shall not cease from exploration and at the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started ...and know the place for the first time.
T.S. Eliot

Don't go to India ~ Pre-trip Warnings & Misconceptions?

mirjamd

I think there is no prediction as to how parent-in-law will react based on the community they come from. It also depends whether the extended family is very close (and meddles more in each other's affairs) and whether they are open minded or more orthodox.

The success of your relationship also depends on whether you will live in India, close to his family, or in a different country.

I think you will have to figure out for yourself, and together with your boyfriend, how much you are willing to adjust. That is not always possible to say up front, but about certain things you can talk. Me and my husband for example agreed that he will come to church and I will go to the temple. But I also have two friends (she a Sikh, he a South Indian brahmin), who do not participate in each other's religions (which gives them some small fights, but they have managed so far).

Up to a certain point you might have to adjust, such as participating in rituals, and sometimes accepting the way a family does things (I for example am still trying to get used to the fact that my family-in-law rings the bell at any time without notice. I now make sure the house is always neat and I have some sweets at home..).

What I have also found is that you will have to do without certain rituals or cultural things you are used to from your background. My husband for example has to come to terms with the fact that I do not know how most Hindu rituals are performed and that we miss certain festivals because I have no clue. Usually those things are known by the women in the family. But then again, I ask his mom, so sometimes we compromise.

The most important thing is to not take cultural differences personally and being able to talk about them..

All the best with your relationship!

brishti

mirjamd: great post!

funny thing is - your post is as applicable to indians marrying indians! [ which is even more convoluted! ]



:brishti

mirjamd

Thanks Brishti And you're right about the same problems of Indians marrying Indians. If they are of different communities it is almost the same as marrying a foreigner!

I sometimes think it is easier for a foreigner, because expectations are less high. Anytime I wear a sari, half the family talks about how great I am adjusting. If my punjabi sister-in-law wears a south Indian sari, or participates in south Indian rituals it is nothing special, and they grumble more if she doesn't do anything....

burf

valid questions

let alone you being a Chinese, i can't image someone even from India but a different community not having similar questions