'a suitable boy', a gay story

#1 Oct 4th, 2006, 04:32
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i can seriously say i had to 'flee' india on account of my sexual orientation - a man who wanted to love and be loved by another man. i was looking for my 'suitable boy'! (as someone pointed out in a previous gay-related thread, it wasn't a case of 'choosing' homosexuality, i just happened to be made this way by my creator.)

that was twenty years ago. i wonder if anything has changed since then? what kind of an india have i come back to? i could have stayed on in india and lived a life of lies and deception (i personally know men who are trapped in 'marriages' foisted on them by their well-meaning families). but that's not how i wanted things to be. as it turned out, my self-imposed exile served me well - i found love. with a man. the way i was destined to. i lived a life of openness, not one of guilt and shame.

although i've never 'come out' officially to my family (good, middle-class punjabis), their (tacit) acceptance has been a source of strength and confidence - i brought my 'friend' with me each time i visited india (that's how he is known by them, my 'friend'). they loved him as one of their own, part of the family. as the years passed, the wish to see me 'happily settled' (with wife and children) has mercifully vanished. i could never have made the decision of returning to india (oh god, her pull is strong!) without their love and support. my partner and i live together in india now as 'friends' - no one bats an eyelid - we don't bother anyone and no one bothers us.

laws may or may not get changed - it's people's attitudes that will ultimately make all the difference. there are men and women in india today who feel much as i did twenty years ago - leave and go someplace you can be your true self. i just wanted to point out that not all indians who leave the country are 'economic migrants'.
Last edited by anar; Oct 5th, 2006 at 03:05..
#2 Oct 4th, 2006, 04:56
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there is an interview with Vikram Seth [The author of 'A Suitable Boy'] in the present issue of Outlook India magazine.

here's the link to this article.

"It Took Me Long To Come To Terms With Myself. Those Were Painful Years."
If there's one thing Vikram Seth loathes more than crusades, it must be prying personal questions. And yet here he is not only laying bare his bisexual heart and soul but also leading a high-profile signature campaign to get rid of the infamous Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code that makes homosexuality a crime.
SHEELA REDDY interviews Vikram Seth
Oct 2nd, 2006
#3 Oct 4th, 2006, 05:05
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anar

laws may or may not get changed - it's people's attitudes that will ultimately make all the difference.
I think this is very very true with many controversial issues. I have seen people in the U.S. who act as if slavery still prevails; homosexuality is an abomination because the Bible says so, it's not natural ... etc. But I am living in a differnt part of the U.S. now, and I see so much more acceptance of all the groups who were outcasts in some midwestern states.

However, I still have to say that Section 377 is a slap in the face, shame and disgrace. There were a few recent stories about this in the New York Times recently. Here is a link to one :

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/16/wo...4d56f3&ei=5070

PS: A lot of the people who preach/spread hatred are often victims of self hatred... for ppl. in the US and political, just look at Mark Foley case. sad and sick.
#4 Oct 5th, 2006, 03:04
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenchutney there is an interview with Vikram Seth [The author of 'A Suitable Boy'] in the present issue of Outlook India magazine.

here's the link to this article.

"It Took Me Long To Come To Terms With Myself. Those Were Painful Years."
If there's one thing Vikram Seth loathes more than crusades, it must be prying personal questions. And yet here he is not only laying bare his bisexual heart and soul but also leading a high-profile signature campaign to get rid of the infamous Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code that makes homosexuality a crime.
SHEELA REDDY interviews Vikram Seth
Oct 2nd, 2006
thanks greenchutney, that was great reading!
Last edited by anar; Oct 6th, 2006 at 01:41..
#5 Oct 5th, 2006, 04:20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laughingbuddha for ppl. in the US and political, just look at Mark Foley case. sad and sick.
the mark foley case is atrocious. and now dennis hastert and others are claiming that they had no idea at all, betrayal of trust..whatever. they knew it years ago. jail the bastard. hypocritical politicians ..pah!!!...follows similar lines along south carolinan segragionist/rascist strom thurmond who fathered a black child, it came out only when he died. and he didnt even acknowledge it publically..

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