of accidents and limericks

sadhuji

It was not a fire but an accident
Said the Minister to the Parliament
We have searched all places
But could find no traces
Of any sinister involvement.

‘Politics doesn’t mix with chop sticks’,
Said the pack of chips to the masala mix.
‘Let us rule the roost
With toffee and boost
The morals of the one and only Sphinx.’

When aloo vanishes, Kaloo wrings his arms
‘How can I now relish my gulab jaams?
A heavy dose of mashed potatoes
If processed can soon decompose
Into good manure that can go to my farms.’

The clown one day refused to budge
It seems his horse had kicked the judge
So the ring master swore -
‘You’re no better than a bore
Who hasn’t yet learnt how to fudge.’

There was this young girl of the Doon
Who wanted to sing on the Moon
So she hired a sleek cab
And flew to the space Lab
To prove that she could also croon.

They met in the foyer and ran to the square
He held her hand tight and she asked – ‘where?’
‘To the bus stand fast,
Its already half past -
We must be there in time for the choir.’

john.sw

A friend asked me to bring back some Limericks from India. I guess they were composed on long dark nights before TV and the internet were invented. Most of them are too lewd for IM, so here is a small selection of suitable ones...

There was a young man from Calcutta
Who had an incurable stutter
He said “Please pass the h-ham”
And the j-j-j-jam
And also the b-b-b-butter”

Said an angry old man of Amritsar
"Have the goodness to mind where you spit, sir!
That last shot of yours
Has besmirched my plus fours
And my lawyers will issue a writ sir!"

There was an old man of Calcutta
Who coated his tonsils with butter
Thus converting his snore
From a thunderous roar
To a soft, oleaginous mutter

There was a Nizam of Bijapur
Who had a gargantuan jaw
When he opened it wide
Or turned to one side
His head would get stuck in the door

An old Hindu gent from Darjeeling
Was sat on a bus bound for Ealing
A sign on the door said
"Do not spit on the floor"
So he carefully spat on the ceiling

There was an old man of Darjeeling
Who hung by his feet from the ceiling
He fell on his head
But felt nothing, he said
For he'd lost all sensation of feeling.

There was a young girl from Madras
Who had a most beautiful ass
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think
But grey, with long ears, and ate grass

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www.nilgiris.asia your guide to the Nilgiris, Ooty, Coonoor, Kotagiri and Gudalur

sadhuji

good, really good!

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mooning over a moon journey

iyou

Put a smile on my face you did!!!

Thanks!!

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--May a moody baby doom a yam.