How to Cross an Indian Road

By Digital Drifter. 

For all the greenhorns out there in the vast blue yonder, this is the secret which may save your life. Not!

Title image provided by Jorge Jr.

The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, but can you?

No amount of reading on Indiamike.com or even practising in your own country will prepare you for first real test and proof that there is indeed a God who will not let a sparrow fall (unless it’s mean’t to roasted and eaten). Notice the large number of fellow countrymen who turn spiritual upon returning from India. You think that was because of the effect of all the Swamis, Yogis et al. Nahhh, think again. They’re spiritual exactly because God showed them how easy he could have made them a pancake in an Indian road.

So here then are the observations, rules and methods of crossing the road.

“No amount of reading on Indiamike.com or even practising in your own country will prepare you for first real test.”

You will see a zebra crossing, ignore that. You might see a traffic light which may or may not work (power cut, sorry) AND you might see a traffic cop who may or may not be on the job. You may also see dividers, cat eyes and their ilk.

Rule 1: Do not under any circumstance go stand under the lights, wait for it to turn green and then use the striped markings to guide you to cross the road. Did you see anyone else do it? No, right? So, why did you? I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT, DIDN’T I? That marks you as a newbie tourist fit to be mobbed by all the hawkers of useless wares.

On busy roads, you will see a cluster of people inching into the traffic like marathon runners before the starting gun. Join them. It does not matter which side of the road you want to cross, a higher intelligence decides that.

Rule 2: In a group, you’re harder to get run over, so join them EVEN if you don’t want to cross a road.

Occassionally you might be dumbstruck to see a man, his wife with a kid in her arms in the middle of a 2/3 lane busy road, trying to cross. Watch them carefully, see how they cross. watch them lean into, walk a few steps up the road, then across, then up again till they reach the divider.

Article Comments

According to an article that I posted somewhere on this site, India has the highest rate of road deaths per head of population in the world. Whether or... more
In other words, you'd rather have the most maddening and infuriating of experiences than otherwise! Cool.... more
In other words, he'd like to mow down people, too. :) In fact, he expressedly wished that the crunching bumpers of the cars in front and making old... more
Sorry if I seem completely out of it...and insensitive at that. It just seemed to me that the general traffic in India was way calmer (like in... more
Statistics are like sausages, you'd rather not know how they're made... You can make statistics say whatever you want, and it'll be almost impossible... more
We are used to the fact that pedestrians, even where a beautifully paved pavement/sidewalk/platform is provided, often just do not use it. However, let... more
Worse in Paris? CathrineP, you seem to have had a remarkably dreadful time in Paris! Or did you spend your entire time there standing at the Arc de Triomphe... more
I lived in France for 8 years so do have some clue as to the traffic:D Why I find it worse, as I said, is because people are generally quite aggressive,... more
Maybe that's why I've run across so many cross-eyed folks over there.... more
Hi Digital Drifter, you made me laugh out loud.. :): Hi Digital Drifter, You made me laugh out loud after I read your article on Indian Roads, and how the Indian people cross the roads :) You're not... more
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