How to Cross an Indian Road

For all the greenhorns out there in the vast blue yonder, this is the secret which may save your life. Not!

Title image provided by Jorge Jr.

The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, but can you?

So here then are the observations, rules and methods of crossing the road.

You will see a zebra crossing, ignore that. You might see a traffic light which may or may not work (power cut, sorry) AND you might see a traffic cop who may or may not be on the job. You may also see dividers, cat eyes and their ilk.

Rule 1: Do not under any circumstance go stand under the lights, wait for it to turn green and then use the striped markings to guide you to cross the road. Did you see anyone else do it? No, right? So, why did you? I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT, DIDN’T I? That marks you as a newbie tourist fit to be mobbed by all the hawkers of useless wares.

On busy roads, you will see a cluster of people inching into the traffic like marathon runners before the starting gun. Join them. It does not matter which side of the road you want to cross, a higher intelligence decides that.

Rule 2: In a group, you’re harder to get run over, so join them EVEN if you don’t want to cross a road.

Occassionally you might be dumbstruck to see a man, his wife with a kid in her arms in the middle of a 2/3 lane busy road, trying to cross. Watch them carefully, see how they cross. watch them lean into, walk a few steps up the road, then across, then up again till they reach the divider.